STREET CARNAGE » Texas

DEAR STREET CARNAGE: SUPER GAY TACO CUM

SBTVC — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:08:46 +0000

Heyyyyyy Street Carnage,

Have you guys seen this site? It’s hilarious. Well, it’s mostly retarded but it captures what kind of weirdos use the internet (ones that write Tex-Mex fanfiction).

Heyyyyyy Street Carnage,

Have you guys seen this site? It’s hilarious. Well, it’s mostly retarded but it captures what kind of weirdos use the internet (ones that write Tex-Mex fanfiction).

Love,

Meg

NETFLIX MOVIE WATCHING CHAMPIONSHIPS UPDATE

Gavin — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:56:52 +0000

Been documenting this Movie Watching World Championship and losing my fucking mind. So far six of the eight contestants have fallen asleep.

Been documenting this Movie Watching World Championship and losing my fucking mind. So far six of the eight contestants have fallen asleep. Richard Simmons came by and didn’t want to talk about his old band and Young Frankenstein came by to watch Young Frankenstein.

A guy from Texas dropped out after he hallucinated a beagle climbing a plant and the other 5 were disqualified after their blinks lasted a bunch of seconds (they thought they just blinked – they didn’t, they fell asleep – it’s basically the same as fainting).

More pics and shit en route.

DON’T EVER JACK MY SNACKS

Alex — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:38:10 +0000

A jury in Texas found Jose Luis Gonzales, 63, not guilty of murdering a 13 year-old when he and and his friends broke in to steal some snacks and soda last summer.

A jury in Texas found Jose Luis Gonzales, 63, not guilty of murdering a 13 year-old when he and and his friends broke in to steal some snacks and soda last summer. Though many believe that shooting the boy in the back of the head, at close range, with a 16-gauge shotgun seemed over-zealous, most people in the Texas jury had to agree that twinkees, cookies and pepsi are really tasty and must be protected at all costs.

TRACE CRUTCHFIELD EMERGES FROM THE SHADOWS

SBTVC — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:53:52 +0000

Dressed like PJ O’Rourke on a month long bender Trace Crutchfield is known for immersing slyly into closed worlds all the while standing out like a sore thumb.

Dressed like PJ O’Rourke on a month long bender Trace Crutchfield is known for immersing slyly into closed worlds all the while standing out like a sore thumb. SBTVC is happy he’s back with two shiny new guides to the 2008 DNC & RNC Conventions called Unconventionally Yours w/Trace Crutchfield.

Premiering respectively August 20th and August 21st on CURRENT TV, each episode is 30 minutes of ham-fisted Texan mischief spotlighting Denver and Minneapolis & St. Paul. While the shows include bits of real political shifty-eyed partisan political talk they also delve into strip clubs w/ meat raffles, kung-fu Islamists, Denver Airport conspiracies, convention protesters, religious free thinkers, gun play, punk rock, gay pride parades, piles of sauced herrings, anarchists in wait, booze, and babes. Remember! You can’t wreck the party if they wont let you in.

PS: and because Trace never stops with the Texas shit, look at him here in 1984. Yes, he is that old.

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