Chris’ wife’s uncle is a Special Needs Dude with the mouth of a sailor and the body of André the Giant. Chris finally got around to posting Lonnie’s Christmas party footage from last year and lumped it in with some pleasant Halloween antics.

Related posts:

1. JACKASSWORLD: NIERATKO
2. COSTUME COUNTDOWN 2008
3. GREATEST HALLOWEEN SONG EVER – DISCO D

Our Costume is “Woody Alien” and or “Arabian vs. Child Predator.”

Our Costume is “Woody Alien” and or “Arabian vs. Child Predator.”

Who thought change a few letters could produce so much failure.

Ya thats right Cerebral fucking Hypoxia and photos look terrible. My already low IQ was depleted for this?

Fuck Halloween.

-Blake and Josh

Related posts:

1. COSTUME COUNTDOWN 2008
2. HOW TO BE A CRUSTY FOR HALLOWEEN
3. GREATEST HALLOWEEN SONG EVER – DISCO D

Okay the most important dress up day of the year is upon us and its time to come up with a costume plan NOW or start reinforcing your Underoos cause I guarantee you’ll be shitting bricks in a few hours.

Okay the most important dress up day of the year is upon us and its time to come up with a costume plan NOW or start reinforcing your Underoos cause I guarantee you’ll be shitting bricks in a few hours. Don’t put yourself in a lose/lose situation by having to decide between “Punker” and “Hobo” at the last minute…Start the juices flowing now.

So what are your options?

HALLOWEEN HUMPING?

Well SEXY costumes seem to be a popular choice. There are ton of pre-made Slut Nurse and Scrotum Police outfit solutions. You can be in and out with swipe of a debit card. It is nice to see shinny nuts and glittery titties at the party but if you go this route you know that we know that you know that we know that you don’t care about the true spirit of Halloween and you are simply launching an advertising campaign to line-up future humping partners.

Halloween is supposed to be fun…ladies – we are bored of French maids – try going as Sexy Toast or show us that you aren’t afraid to get a little pumpkin jizz in your hair….that’s who really want to share our candy with. Note – Dudes if you have a Dudley Moore type physique like me stay away from the Chippendales type concepts.

Oscar Performance

Some costumes are a little more demanding than others so know how much time you are willing to invest in the project from start.

If you are going to pull off a Jackie Rogers Jr (SCTV), it is imperative that you have bionic googly eye control talents and wicked dance moves. If you don’t have the goods sometime a celeb costume can backfire. I once met a guy who did a “nevernude” gag. He looked remarkably like Tobias and was wearing 2 pairs of jeans but he didn’t really sell it to me (note – at the time I thought David Cross was the guy who penned the easy listening classics ‘Aurthur’s Theme’ and “Sailing”). If you are willing to put a bit of time into your character research you could be a Halloween star.

Conceptual Costumes

These can range from wonderfully simple wordplay costumes to dressing up like Barnet Newman’s voice of fire but word to the wise you concept shouldn’t outweigh the tangible manifestation of the idea ( people who say – “I’m dressed sup as myself” deserve a kick in nut/clits).

Team effort

Rule the bar. If done properly you get a ton of Halloween points for demonstrating complex organizational skills. Power in numbers – Manson family, smurfs, and of course who doesn’t love seeing the Village People.

Score big points and respect by choosing a costume that restricts your ability to move, be safe or have fun. Incorporating roller skates is pretty jazzy cause people love seeing other people wipe out (that’s why AFV is the best show on TV). One costume from the past that I really respected was this dude dress up as an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. I remember seeing him try to unsuccessfully sit in a chair, then he just stood in the corner looking very uncomfortable and pissed off….Amazing

Good luck with your ideas and check back soon to see what our Tickle Trunk barfed up on us.

Fight For Your Right to Party

- Blake and Josh

Related posts:

1. GREATEST HALLOWEEN SONG EVER – DISCO D
2. OBIT THE DUST: CHARLTON HESTON 1923-2008
3. OBIT THE DUST: WILLIAM F BUCKLEY 1925-2008

The first and most important part of becoming a crusty for Halloween is not already being one. If you’re already a homeless, anarchist, who got fucked by his dad, you’re not dressing up.

The first and most important part of becoming a crusty for Halloween is not already being one. If you’re already a homeless, anarchist, who got fucked by his dad, you’re not dressing up. You’re just being you. Ideally, you want to start out as a 38 year-old, yuppie with two kids.
-
-
-

STEP 1 – CREATING THE VEST

The jacket is the most important part next to the face. You don’t realize how few people see anything below your waist on Halloween. Everywhere’s packed. Often, the guy who bought a zany mask at the last second will at least equal the anal dickweed that spent his whole time working on his shoes and socks.

Buy any old stupid jean jacket from a second hand store. Then, cut off the sleeves and spray paint it black. For extra leathery-ness you should paint the shoulders with some kind of industrial paint. Remember, these guys have years and years of body grease you now need to simulate. The more shit you put on the better.
-
-
-

STEP 2 – FINISHING THE VEST

Sew a bunch of patches on the vest. This is a chore because the skin is now thick as leather. You may need a piece of plastic something to get the needle through the material. Getting the studs on is also a bitch. It takes hours. Anarcho punk is 90% about Arts & Crafts, which seems queer but once they put one outfit together, they’re done for several years so it ends up being not so much work.
-
-
-

STEP 3 – THE SHOES

Spray paint your Chucks black. You wear as little leather as possible because the origins of crusty culture is about dumpster diving and being vegan and listening to horrible music and drinking lots of beer (ideally home brewed). Leather is corporate.
-
-
-

STEP 4 – TAPER YOUR PANTS

You need to make these suckers ridiculously tight. Put them on inside out and then pin them as tight as you can bear. Then, carefully slink out of them and sew along the pins with no mercy. This costume is about 72% sewing. Get a patch on there while you’re at it.
-
-
-

STEP 7 – THE HAT

You don’t want to be unpicking dreads out of your hair all week so why not inflict this fate on a wig instead? Get a few clumps together and tangle the shit out of them before cutting them off and stapling them to the inside back of your hat.
-
-
-

STEP 8 – THE AGING PROCESS

Everything looks way to new at this point so take it down to your basement and rub it all over the dirty cement floors. A good way to get authentic holes is to really grind your boot into the clothes while kicking and dragging them around. The majority of the dirt is going to fall off over the course of the night so be sure to make them about twice as dirty as you want them to be.
-
-
-

STEP 6 – ACCESSORIES

These things can be murder on your wallet. A good skull ring will run you close to $50. However, good accessories are what take a costume out of the realm of “imaginary” and into “believable.”

I wore this to a party on Bowery last Halloween and the bouncer goes, “I like your ‘costume’” in finger quotes. He was so sure it was not a costume, he figured it was worth pointing out us crusties kind of blend in on Halloween. I erased a facial tattoo to show him he was duped but he didn’t see me so I just looked like a weird little man trying to pick a fight with a gorilla. LOL.

Anyhue, with some lipstick and a red pen you can make a great heroin hole. Be sure to pack both these things in your top pocket because it wears off after an hour or so.

The facial tattoos should be poorly done and asymmetrical. They were created while drunk in a park so anything too accurate is going to be a giveaway. I just made a bunch of circles with an eyebrow pencil.
Now, go to a plant and grab some dirt out of the pot and moisten it with tap water before rubbing it all over your face. This shit falls off super easy so pack a sandwich bag of the mud for touchups later on.
-
-
-

STEP 7 – WALK THE WALK

Now that the outside is complete, you’re going to have to master the inside. Get drowsy. You’re on heroin remember. Take a nap on the street on a piece of cardboard. There is nothing worse than a zombie talking to you about taxes or a sexy nurse telling you her stomach is upset. You need to get into your role and become the costume, even if it’s sexy toast. Once, you’ve mastered these 7 concepts you are ready to step into the ring and fight with the greatest night on earth. Good luck and happy cunting!

Related posts:

1. DID THEY KNOW: REFLECTIONS ON A NOVELTY HALLOWEEN SONG THAT WENT NOWHERE
2. STREET CARNAGE HALLOWEEN PICS – WIN A SHIRT

While flying over the Pacific Ocean four years ago, I got an idea for a song for the next album with my then-band the Unicorns: an all-star jamboree entitled “Do They Know It’s Hallowe’en?”, a riff on Bob Geldof’s empty-gesture coke-guilty quick fix “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” as performed by his curatorial creation, the aptly named Band-Aid.

While flying over the Pacific Ocean four years ago, I got an idea for a song for the next album with my then-band the Unicorns: an all-star jamboree entitled “Do They Know It’s Hallowe’en?”, a riff on Bob Geldof’s empty-gesture coke-guilty quick fix “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” as performed by his curatorial creation, the aptly named Band-Aid. Two months later, my band broke up somewhat acrimoniously, and I wound up adrift in LA on the floor of a good friend’s living room. After a week of pfaffing about, I casually mentioned the still-lingering idea to my friend, Adam, which at that point had no structure beyond the title’s syntax, and he quickly took to it with a curiousity and fervour that gave me some hope, so we set out to bring the thing to fruition. A daunting, herculean task, but a great way to take my mind off of the unfortunate split and subsequent tailspin I’d found myself in.

Being in LA provided us with a few helpful resources that would transcend this from “bong talk” to feasible project: A&Rs, celebrities, connections, and friends. Our friend Steve, from LA punk progenitors Redd Kross seemed game, and lent his producing talent and recording studio. Now we had a place to record and someone great to record it. We just needed a song. This part came surprisingly smoothly. We sat down in Adam’s living room (my bedroom) with a casio sk-1 keyboard and a pad of paper. After plodding and plunking for only a few moments, we had the germ of the song and the lyrics were being batted back and forth, unfolding at a speedy clip and inciting laughs as we furiously jotted them down. The one-joke concept had evolved into a very scathing satire of celebritized philanthropy. With D.T.K.I.C., the voice in the song is lamenting the fate of the “poor African”, with a “burning sun” and soil that’s unsustainable, “where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears”. “Here’s to them underneath that burning sun”, Bono or someone like him sings, “do they know it’s Christmastime at all?”. With D.T.K.I. Hallowe’en, the point of view is still the western enfranchised voice, but this time it’s not so sympathetic, mournful and eager for prayer. Masterful couplets like “children on streets, begging for treats ” and “drowning in a bucket of apples bobbing- parents are hiding, our babies are sobbing” served as examples, asking countries such as Latvia, and Laos to help US out for a change. Seeing as no one else in the world besides North America celebrated Hallowe’en, they weren’t subject to the fear and horror we faced every year, and therefore, under the Geneva code or whatever, had to step in and help us put an end to the holiday altogether. We called ourselves the North American Hallowe’en Prevention Initiative or NAHPI. Silly, yes, but somewhat pointed. The ultimate in irony was the fact that we were actually planning on donating to a charitable organization.

The next day, we raced over to Steve’s studio and tried to piece the whole thing together. Steve called his brother-in-law, Joey Waronker, a top shelf session drummer who arrived within the hour and on the sly, as his wife had forbade him to record anything (let alone for free) while he was on vacation. He told her he was picking up milk.

We got into position; Adam on guitar, Steve on bass, myself on keys, and Joey on the drums and we taught them both the song. Once. Then we pressed record, and that was the take we used. Joey sped out the door faster than he came in, and we were left with the base of the song, the bed track.

Now came the challenge, and also the adventure: convincing recognizable musicians and celebrities to partake. We drew up a dream list that would make anyone shake their head in disbelief, and some of the names were unattainable: Kanye, Andre 3000, Ronnie Spector, Danzig, David Byrne, Joni Mitchell, and Neil Young, to name a few. We wanted this thing to be the most hilarious, high-profile hit joke song that made fun of changing the world while simultaneously doing just that, and we felt it had the potential to be. We got through to most of those people’s people, but the layers of management and publicists were too thick to penetrate. The people we ended up with were just as incredible though, ranging from the relevant and knowable, like Beck, David Cross, Karen O, Thurston Moore and Arcade Fire, to the up and comers who weren’t yet well known (remember this was in January 2005) such as Feist, Wolf Parade and Rilo Kiley. But we didn’t just tap into that one segment of the cultural landscape. We convinced 60s Detroit soul man Gino Washington, 80s horror icon Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, 60s psych-legend Roky Erikson, and Sex Pistols creator Malcolm McLaren to each sing a line of the batty tune. We ended up with more than 30 people on the tune, and probably another 30 people who helped us put it together.

So what the fuck happened? How did this not take? We had a label, a publicist, directors making a video, and all of these amazing vocalists plus many more under-appreciated behind-the-scenes people going to bat for us for free and it just didn’t click with the general public the way we had hoped. We did a fairly limited physical print run (it was a single after all), and we got a bit of love from the New York Times and other legitimate publications, but for the most part, the thing seemed to have been swept under the rug in a serious way. We ended up with UNICEF as our charitable organization, (an appropriate charity for trick-or-treaters, at least in Canada) who were willing to accept the money, but didn’t want to get behind it whole-heartedly- maybe it was just too weird? Obviously I’m not the right person to ask this question, and frankly, I’m way to fragile to get an answer from anyone (so please refrain if you don’t care for it).

I haven’t listened to it in a few years, but Hallowe’en is right around the corner and every year I feel a little more disheartened that it hasn’t been rediscovered by a celebrity DJ. Maybe Bob Geldof’s daughter is reading? Maybe it needs to end up in a car commercial or a teen soap opera or something? Or Maybe you should start helping me out by tracking it down. It should be available on iTunes should you want to hear it.

Fun Memories of The Process:

-Getting the vocal recording back from Roky Erikson and finding out he sang “Don’t They Know It’s Hallowe’en” over a chorus of “Do They Know”s

-Meeting Elvira. She was out of character, in her regular persona Cassandra Peterson, and she was an extremely attractive, lovely woman! She loved the little drawings I’d been doing for the project, and ended up asking if I wanted to do the design for an upcoming Elvira/Jim Henson collab. Damn, that never materialized.

-While Steve, Thurston and I were downstairs in Steve’s home studio, Kim Gordon, was up in his living room watching the Oscars. I really wanted her to come down and do a duet with Thurston but she was super engrossed in the red carpet opening ceremony.

-Meeting the Sparks brothers at a bouge cafe in west hollywood for breakfast. They didn’t order anything to eat, but they were fascinating to observe, like exotic animals recently brought to captivity.

-Having a big row with the art editor of a magazine that was publishing a story on the song. I was assigned to illustrate the piece, but was blasted for not drawing the same way I had for the cover art: cartoony. I attempted to do serious portraits of the contributors and got in a huge e-shouting match with the guy. Then they shelved my submission and had some blind monkey do the exact same thing, but badly.

-I wasn’t there, and I deeply regret it, but Adam and our friend Jamie driving to Detroit, past 8 mile, to Gino Washington’s house in 9 mile to record his vocal in his kitchen. They got to listen to stuff he’d been working on since (the 60s) and some backing music he’d been making for his son, who was making a rap record.

-Doing mushrooms right after we finished the mixing process at the Dust Brother’s old studio, the Boat, in LA, with the mixer Danny, Steve, Adam and I. The mushroom were pretty strong, and Steve ate a lot so he turned into a green zephyr or something. He generally had a bad time (it was his first time incidentally) and Danny was a saint taking care of him, the whole night (his first time too). Adam and I were completely distracted by a rose bush the whole time.

-Nick Diamonds
I S L A N D S

Related posts:

1. STREET CARNAGE HALLOWEEN PICS – WIN A SHIRT
2. MOTORHEAD’S OBAMA SONG

Invite all your friends over and have them bring their own sharp knives because you’re not going to have enough. If they get arrested on the way to your house have them stab the cop and then freak out and run back home. Become their alibi.

Invite all your friends over and have them bring their own sharp knives because you’re not going to have enough. If they get arrested on the way to your house have them stab the cop and then freak out and run back home. Become their alibi. Everyone has to make a pact to lie for any murder that happens on Hellawicked (Juggalo term). After that, the only thing you have to know is: If you use a Sharpie to draw the face on your pumpkin you’re going to have to carve outside the lines or your pumpkin will have Sharpie all over his face. Ideally you want to use a pencil or a highlighter or something less visible. Be careful you guys. Peace.

Related posts:

1. PUMPKIN CARVING ON AMPHETAMINES
2. SHEPARD SMITH GETS HIS FREAK OUT!

Playing around with high grade pharmaceutical amphetamines and taking stabs at things is a certainly a no-no.

Playing around with high grade pharmaceutical amphetamines and taking stabs at things is a certainly a no-no. And when it’s Halloween (soon approaching) and you know snotty nosed kids are soon to be lurking around with their vision-flawed masks on without parental supervision who are practically begging for candy. This is the time to play.

“Trick or Treat” is the keywords I typed in when a friend asked me to look for pumpkin carving ideas to sport a gay old time slicing and dicing at the annual happy (boring), carving party… FUCK. I found the puking pumpkin, which is apparently the new rave; while this is creative and new (?) I found it too goddamn simple. Give me a challenge, give me no rules, no guidelines, and this year give me some high grade amphetamine, then we’ll see what this cobbler turns into. Just a little old fashioned pie making session with a knife and a vegetable, or is it a fruit? Who cares!

This was last year’s result of sobriety that I made. I let em rot a little and colored his face, as you can see I didn’t put enough time into the little fucker. Here he is with a flashlight pointed at his temple and a candle shoved down his throat.

No, not this year, lets see what a knife, the central nervous system, and a steady hand with a few induced twitches brought on by spasm can bring to this gayest of American tradition.

So it took me 2 hours to complete my pumpkin,

2 hours to complete, and it doesn’t even look like shit. I messed up a little bit too. I carved the nose to big, so it has a reversible eye and nose that I can exchange in place for one another. So it looks like shit right!?

Mr. O-Lantern here looks a lot better with a candle stick in his ass, don’t he?

Here’s the eye and nose piece exchanged from a different angle.

So I leave it to you, before you go out and your ego collides with the garb you’re so stressed to attest too. Which Jack is better, the geeked one, the sober one, the Ripper, or the one of all trades? Either way you cut it, have fun out there and have a Happy Halloween.

No related posts.

Here are some pics from previous Street Carnage Halloweens. Send us your Halloween pics and the best one gets a free Street Carnage shirt.

Here are some pics from previous Street Carnage Halloweens. Send us your Halloween pics and the best one gets a free Street Carnage shirt.

Related posts:

1. STREET CARNAGE / ROCKERS NYC T-SHIRT COLLABORATION
2. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: FRESHJIVE BITING YOUR LOGO?
3. ROCKERS NYC: STREET CARNAGE SHIRTS