STREET CARNAGE » boys http://www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com STREET CARNAGE Fri, 25 May 2012 18:15:52 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 ASK BARF: DO ALL BALLS SMELL THE SAME? http://www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/ask-barf-do-all-balls-smell-the-same/ http://www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/ask-barf-do-all-balls-smell-the-same/#comments Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:31:17 +0000 Lesley Arfin http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/?p=5733 Related posts:
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Dear Barf,

Do all balls smell the same, or do I not have enough up close and personal encounters with balls to make a sound judgment?

Dear Barf,

Do all balls smell the same, or do I not have enough up close and personal encounters with balls to make a sound judgment? Cuz I’ve been with five pairs of balls and they all have that same ball smell. Some stronger and more pungent than others, but it’s the same smell. That musky weird odor with a hint of the acrid. Swampy, but not sweaty or BO-like. Not terrible, but not exactly pleasant. Very primitive smelling. I bet this scent has been attached to balls since the dawn of man. I feel like if this smell were bottled and put in a mystery jar and I had to guess the scent, I would immediately recognize it as balls.

Sincerely,

Christina

Dear Christina,

I never thought about it but since you asked, I think all balls DO smell the same! Sure they vary depending on the shower factor but ultimately there is something that is very distinct about ball-smell. And this just in: I LIKE IT. Balls smell like vulnerability. They smell like the action of smelling someone’s balls: awkward! It’s not the sexiest of scents but it’s more like… cute? Like “Aww, your balls. I’ll be gentle.” If the penis symbolizes everything that’s wrong with the world today, the balls symbolize the fact that there might be a solution. I like to think of the balls as the penis’ Achilles heel.

Love,

Lesley

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  1. CAN I SMELL YOUR DICK?
  2. SERBIAN CHEF LOVES TO EAT BALLS
  3. ASK BARF: WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN WITH JOBS?
]]> http://www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/ask-barf-do-all-balls-smell-the-same/feed/ 37 ASK BARF: WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN WITH JOBS? http://www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/ask-barf-where-are-all-the-men-with-jobs/ http://www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/ask-barf-where-are-all-the-men-with-jobs/#comments Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:31:49 +0000 Lesley Arfin http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/?p=4641 Related posts:
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Dear Lesley,

I am in a bind and am hoping you can help. I hooked up with this guy about a month ago and we’ve been sleeping together about five times a week ever since.
Ask Lesley Arfin

Dear Lesley,

I am in a bind and am hoping you can help. I hooked up with this guy about a month ago and we’ve been sleeping together about five times a week ever since. Pretty exclusive but nothing “official” has been declared. He is super hot, makes me laugh, and is fun to go out with. My friends like him and he has a large penis.  Problem is, he is ALWAYS broke. He is in a band, and builds sets supposedly but I’ve only known him to work two days total in the time we’ve been seeing each other. As far as I can tell, he smokes pot and hangs out with his bros during the day (who also have a great deal of free time, apparently) and then goes out with me at night. He’s never taken me out for a meal, and I am starting to feel like a sugar-mommy each time I pay for his beer or dinner.  I am 30 and have a full time job, by the way. Do I drop him? I am dying to have a boyfriend who actually takes me out on a G.D. date!

Where are all the real men? With jobs!

By the way, he is sooooo hot (I think I mentioned that.) The sex is awesome too.

Sincerely,

Flummoxed in Flatbush

Dear Flummoxed,

I can relate to this situation. I dated basically the same guy (actually, it might’ve literally been the same guy). You know: hot, huge cock, great in the sack, popular ‘n such. All pros except for that ONE thing. Sometimes I used to pretend that that thing didn’t matter. I mean, I didn’t even want to say it out loud. What does money have to do with love anyway? Well, nothing if it’s not his fault and everything if it is.
We can pretend everything’s a short-term joke but deep down we’re all looking for a long-term partner. As girls it’s only natural to feel attracted to someone who can take care of us so this money sitch has got to change if things are going to work out.

The only way to do this is to call his bluff. This guy is either a mooch or a hobo. An easy way to test this is to have no money yourself. If you have really big cunt balls you will not let him know this til the check comes at the restaurant or the cabbie says it’s $6.82. If he stops calling you after these, “He’s just not into you.” If he still wants to hang out you can either enjoy the life of a hobo with him or find someone with a job.

Love,

Lesley


If you are confused by your sexuality or are considering cheating on your boyfriend or are addicted to cocaine or just had yet another abortion or don’t like your friends anymore… Ask Barfin Arfin what to do. She’s over 1,000 years old and went to rehab a bunch.

Email sbtvc at streetcarnage dawt com with “Ask Barf” in the subject.


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  2. ASK BARF: HOW DO I KICK OUT MY BOYFRIEND?
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