After talking to the following highly intelligent pedestrians (which I carefully selected according to their racial make-up and location)

After talking to the following highly intelligent pedestrians (which I carefully selected according to their racial make-up and location), it seems to me the Henry Louis Gates snafu is a very trivial story hardly worth anybody’s time. Gates, who magically pays his mortgage by super-gluing the race question to the dashboard of his mind like a bobble-headed doll, had just gotten home from a two-day flight from China. Understandably he was cranky, but who can expect a cop investigating a possible burglary to give a shit? Obviously Gates has no experience in dealing with police officers, because Sergeant Crinley seems to have behaved like a shitty cop in the most typical way possible. Couple that with Gates’s nasty mood and reputation for arrogance, the idea of the two squaring off for a dick-measuring contest seems completely predictable. We all know who won–Crinley’s was longer, if not decidedly more pencil-y in shape. Distressed, Gates started pontificating on the qualities of black dick when Crinley turned his dong into skincuffs and escorted the bereaved professor to his squad car.

While Alex, Alexandra, and “Berfin Erfin” (you’ll get it) don’t perfectly agree with me the way they should have, I think the media’s conclusions about race in this story are completely wrong-headed. The lessons learned here are two-fold: 1.) People too often don’t trouble themselves to meet their neighbors, and 2.) men with big stupid egos say and do big stupid things. This seems so simple my brain just farted in its sleep.

ALEX ANDREWS, 29, FORT GREENE

Does racial-profiling or matters of race play a matter in this?

Um, yeah, I think it does to a certain degree. I think if he’d been an older white guy struggling to get into his house I don’t know if his neighbors would have had as much cause for concern.

What does that tell you about his neighbors?

I think racially profiling became a factor on the part of the 911-caller. You know, they saw a couple of black guys struggling to get into a house. With the police, would they have bothered to take an old white professor to jail for getting angry at them for basically invading his privacy? I doubt it.

Do you think if Mr. Gates hadn’t brought racism into the equation things wouldn’t have gone as they did?

Aside from the fact he was probably rightfully angry about the cop having been suspicious of him in the first place, his injecting that racial slant escalated the situation and made it spin out of control. When a black person is misidentified as an intruder and he happens to be a prominent scholar who specializes in black studies, I think there’s a greater likelihood of the altercation taking on that racial implication.

What do you think about the idea of this just being a case of two angry people getting mad at each other?

Definitely. I don’t think you have to look very far to find instances where routine police situations turn into macho muscle matches where one person has to step down. As always, it’s the police who have the authority to take you in.

Do you think the fact that one of the back-up officers was black is worth mentioning?

I’m not sure. When you look at instances of police discrimination and brutality I think you’ll find just as many black officers involved in the incidents, too. I don’t know how much a role that played.

Some people said it was “shocking to see one of their heroes in a mug shot.” What’s your favorite hero mug shot?

That’s a good question. I think Nick Nolte has a striking mug shot. But ultimately I would say James Brown.

Are you Irish?

I’m not.

I racially profiled you for your red hair and freckles.

You did and I’m clearly victimized [laughter]. I think that’s the key difference is that black people are ostensibly black, and that’s not going to change.

Do you think being black in America today is still an unfuckwithable experience?

In terms of being a conversation-stopper? Yeah, I think there’s still a certain something that’s at play with phrases like, “It’s a black thing, you wouldn’t understand.” I think things like that are still prevalent these days, but less so than probably ten years ago.

In the news stories people were saying “If it can happen to him, it can happen to any of us black people.” Why’s he so untouchable—because he wears a sweater instead of a do-rang do-rag [thanks, pingpong]?

Absolutely. It’s a fact that black and Hispanic people are disproportionately taken in by police. Certainly, if it can happen to him in his sweater and Harvard badge, it could happen to any black person.

Have you noticed how many black people have looked at us funny since we’ve been talking?

I think it’s because we’re two white people using the phrase “black people” a lot.

ALEXANDRA CROSIER, 33, PROSPECT HEIGHTS

You said you used to live in Cambridge. What’s the racial makeup of that Mr. Gates’s neighborhood?

It’s very white—it’s also very wealthy and historical and lovely. The police came and he produced ID, but he got irate and they arrested him for disturbing the police, which is kind of ridiculous.

If at all, at what point do you see matters of race entering this situation?

It seems highly likely that race played a part in the arresting officer’s attitude, although potentially class is an issue as well. I don’t know if it was evident to the police officer, but professor Gates is highly intelligent and a little haughty.

Maybe he was acting a bit “uppity”?

[laughs] I think this is the interesting piece: probably from the police officer’s perspective—if he’s at all racist—professor Gates was acting “uppity.” I think what’s really preposterous is that once professor Gates made it evident that he lived in that building, the rest of the events make no sense. But I’ve met professor Gates.

Oh, wow!

I used to work in a bookstore on Harvard Square and I assisted him in finding books on a number of occasions–

–In the African-American section. Go on.

[giggle] Well, no, no. He has very broad interests. He’s really erudite.

I’m sorry?

It means well-read and intelligent. He’s not warm and fuzzy, and he’s not the easiest person to get along with. I obviously did not have extended interactions with him, but he’s a little bit—I’m trying to come up with the rights words to describe him—yes, haughty is one descriptor.

If he’s some kind of an asshole you should just say that.

Eh. He kind of gets there sometimes. I mean, I don’t want to demean him because he is the victim here. I can say when I read he was being loud and obnoxious, I could totally picture it. I can totally picture him getting immediately like, “How dare you!” because that’s his personality. But you know what? A lot of people have that personality.

You’re right. I know a lot of skateboarders like that—I’m one of them.

Right. If a police officer can’t handle someone who gets angry easily, they should get some more training or they shouldn’t be on the police force. They should expect conflict because they experience conflict every day. Did the police feel threatened by Gates? That’s preposterous.

This guy I just talked to said racial-profiling came into the equation with the 911-call because if Gates and the driver had been white, the call probably wouldn’t have been made.

Yeah. It seems much more likely to me that if they had been two white people trying to get in that whoever called it in would have gone over and seen what was going on and asked if they “needed help.” But it seems so surprising that anyone in that neighborhood wouldn’t know professor Gates. I mean, I don’t know how far away the caller was that she wasn’t able to see who it was—there’s so much we don’t know it’s hard to speculate.

Do you think anybody over-reacted?

Oh, everyone. Almost every element about it is really depressing and sad. Ultimately, I think it’s important that the media has latched on to it and it’s gone onto the front page of the New York Times and that Obama has commented on it. But in the end, we’re only hearing about something that happens every day in America because Henry Louis Gates had to deal with this. It would have been the same if it had happened to, yeah, Bill Cosby, Barack Obama, or Cornel West—a former Harvard University professor–for that matter.

How do you feel about the assertion that being black in America is still an unfuckwithable experience?

What’s that? Un-f—

–Unfuckwithable. Do you see the black race card losing any value?

I think the complexity is becoming more apparent to people. I think it’s hard to talk about because you can’t talk about it in 50 words or less: it’s a discussion. It’s something to ponder and think about. It’s so complicated.

Do you think non-black people could ever arrive at an understanding or level of respect of what it means to be a black American? Would it help if a white dude moved to Swaziland?

No, I don’t think that would help. It’s unique.

So you’re saying it’s unfuckwithable.

[laughs]

We’ve taught each other a new word today. Come on, you can say it.

I guess so. It’s a good one. “Unfuckwithable.”

Do you think Mr. Gates was wrong in bring race into it the way he did?

He might have been a little pre-mature, but it’s what he’s devoted his life to, and it’s impossible for it to not be in the forefront of his mind all the time. I mean, I’m not a black person in America, but I would imagine, in this incident, race would be the first thing I would have thought of.

EFRIN MONTILLA, 29, WILLIAMSBURG

Do you see racism playing a role in the Gates debacle?

I do. If the guy has already proved he is in his own home, why do you need to press his envelope if the problem is solved?

What do you think about Mr. Gates’s statements “I’ll talk to your mama outside” and “I’m a black man in America”?

Well, I don’t think his statements were right. We as black people (me, I’m half-hispanic) don’t need to be saying stuff like that. We already got a black president; let’s work these things out together. Let’s not start blaming everything on race, bringing “yo mama” into it. Don’t be the first to make it about race. I think people are making this a big thing about race because Gates made it so. I think this one incident has brought us back about five years in race-relations. Yes, the Cambridge Police acted a little bit “stupidly” because the incident shouldn’t have gone that far. It was a simple phone call about somebody breaking into a house. You went there, you talked to the guy and he showed you he lived there—why does it take an arrest in that?

News sources have quoted black people as remarking how if it happened to Mr. Gates, it can happen to any of us. What makes Mr. Gates so much more special than you or me—if I were black?

I guess like that guy said: because he’s the director of a well-known black institute, that makes him more vulnerable than me or any other black person. The case has gotten more attention because of Mr. Gates’s stature.

Is being a black dude in America something that’s unfuckwithable for non-black people?

Unfuckwithable? Growing up in this neighborhood, I actually get fucked with more now. This neighborhood used to be a Spanish neighborhood. When not-Spanish people started moving to the neighborhood, there became more cops, cops on every corner. I got stopped many times just by walking by.

Do you think non-black people can understand what it means to be black in America?

Yes, I think so. My girlfriend is white. A lot of people can understand. And now, you see more people closer than probably in the past ten, 15 years. I think because of the media and sports—it’s just bringing us closer.

What’s your favorite celebrity mug shot?

[chuckles] James Brown was the funniest snap shot I’d see so far. All of them, yes. There’s one where his hair is all crazy—that’s pretty funny.

Related posts:

1. THE WEEK IN REUNIONS – AT THE GATES AND AMEBIX
2. WORD ON THE STREET: MICHAEL JACKSON
3. WORD ON THE STREET: SARAH PALIN’S RESIGNATION
4. WORD ON THE STREET: CATCHER IN THE RYE PT. 4
5. WORD ON THE STREET: IRAN IS BURNING