Since Sam left to work on a gold mine in Canada, Street Carnage had to find someone to fill in for the Wasted Pushups segment; cue me, Aileen Awesome.
Since Sam left to work on a gold mine in Canada, Street Carnage had to find someone to fill in for the Wasted Pushups segment; cue me, Aileen Awesome.
You may remember me from having my spot blown up by the Blowjob Boycott. I took some advice from the commentators and decided to sleep with real men. It hasn’t been going that well since there are apparently none left in the boroughs of New York. (In case you’re wondering, I am still going strong on the boycott and still walking out on small dick.)
I have a shitload of birth control left over due to the fact I’ve been keeping it to myself until the right cunnilingus-ator comes along. Since I’ve been stacking it up I decided to see if anything would happen if I took all my BC in one shot. Everyone advise me against it, but as long as the Doc says I won’t die, I’m good.
I took about three weeks worth with sparkling water and tried to rail the rest. Snorting it was a fail. There was nothing to cut the BC with so I was left with huge chunks that later gave me a nose bleed and more laundry to do. I ended up just swallowing the rest of the crushed pills. Overall, I really don’t think it affected me at all.
You should have taken them rectally.
first ya ras!
mu-la-tto!!
gams don’t make up for that fail
somebody’s oven isn’t gonna cook any baby…
chocolate + icecream gave it away. you have a cool voice and i look forward to your contributions as they progress… thanks!
Well, now that she’s out of birth control pills, maybe she’ll do this nation’s gene pool a favor and get sterilized.
Those still don’t count.
stupid. where’s sam?
i like her hair.
this needs to be done by someone who can do pushups to being with. maybe you should change it to wasted jumping jacks or something.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT.
bring back Sam for the eyecandy.
and ’cause this bitch is lame.
Sam who? This is the greatest post of all time.
Look at that hair!? If you don’t shave/wax your bush you have your answer why men won’t go down on you. One can only wonder if the rug indeed matches the drapes. Yikes.
This is so dumb.
wtf i feel cheated, this bitch wasnt awesome at all
what is this your myspace name
who the hell is gavin hiring nowadays
although the joke was funny
just like the one 12 pics chick, tits or gtfo
hahaha i like her
i agree with the 1st comment you should’ve taken them backwards, blasting birth control up your nose.. AWESOME!!! you are a fuckin winner.. next time try mainlining bleach
Holy fuck, the period stain on the back of her pants! HAHAHA!
Alright, so fine, the presented sexual edge with the blowjob thing is boring and misguided and blah, and the look of her crushing the pills and talking all cool just annoys me for some reason, but the joke wasn’t bad and the semi-slo-mo push-up collapse and and ensuing soft-floor-clunk+ass-jiggle was the top 2 seconds of anything. If I were a betting guy, I’d say I don’t think we’ve seen the last of this Aileen Awesome.
tried to snort lithium once, um, don’t try it. that or any pill with coating on it, burns a ton and takes forever to scrape those bits out. suburban desperation.
I agree with every single post so far.
shwing!?
Damn right this is wasted pushups.
Chick has no tits at all.
There’s not much point in keeping healthy and smelling nice when you have a face like a shovel.
birth control doesn’t even get u high…fuck man c’mon.
Trying. Very. Hard. Can we get some background on this girl? I’d bet dollars to dumplings that Daddy paid for her prescription.
she’s a blowup doll. the fuck she need birth control for?
this is a fucking joke.
Haaaha. I’ll miss Sam’s posts but this was funny too. Wasted pushups are back yay!
The finger pointing and “nnntt ESTROGEN!” *raised eyebrows* *dual gunslinging finger points* *raised eyebrows* *shoulder sway*
was enough for me to stop the video… 7 seconds in. Terrible.
Did you honestly think the massive dose of birth control pills was gonna do anything? Sheesh.
AILEEN AWESOME! how old are you? I thought alliterative nicknames were for 16 year old scene kids
A massive dose of birth control pills = Plan B aka the morning after pill. It makes you nauseous and gassy but you can do push ups. What’s up for next week? skittles and stacker 2?
That is a really nice weave!
Empowering!
Cap’n Fuzzfuzz,
I’m going to stuff you into the trunk of a Cadillac and roll you off of a canyon ledge.
are you kidding me with the hagandaus, fuck mommy and daddy better stop sending this hissy-fittin hoe money cause all she spends it on is birth control, beer and hagandaus and the only reason this pisses me off is I cant afford birth control hagandaus and beer, fuck.
a (male) friend of mine took some birth control pills and says all it did was make his nipples go hard for a while.
First!!!
Gavin: you know you gotta fire this skank.
@ Saedtler – “Look at that hair!? If you don’t shave/wax your bush you have your answer why men won’t go down on you. One can only wonder if the rug indeed matches the drapes. Yikes.”
My thoughts exactly. She’s sexy though.
Fuck all a you – she’s tops, a gal I can relate to.
Dick or get the fuck off, you best be packing mad heat.
(eh probably not)
@HalfAfrican
Nobody said she ain’t hot; she just ain’t all that.
Donna, let me eat yo pussy.
@Black J – ahhhhhhahahahhahahahahahahaha!
who wanted her myspace name? Just google that shet smartypants.
It’s obvious her parents are the ones who should have used birth control.
This post makes me feel old.
i would rather see a hot chick do push ups than a skinny crackhead cracker with a dirty sanchez stache!
oh shit im outta notebook paper and i need to do a line…does ANYONE have any notebook paper? i ALWAYS crush up drugs on a piece of notebook paper.
Worst. Ever. start paying Sam so he can come back and we can all actually enjoy something.
Oh, and p.s you guys no nothing of mullato bush.
If the hair on her head is any indicator of what is going on down stairs, it would suggest (if it is in fact, in full bloom) intricate, tight curls that adhere to a strict patterning that is contained to the pubic bone alone, that does not encroch upon the thigh, and is not at all wayward or wispy, or L-O-N-G, a-la full white gurl bush.
And she ain’t all what? Shit was cute, even a little funny. Sexy without being smutty.
You guys just want crude and lewed – pea brains I say. YOU ARE BORING
@failfag: ha ha “scene kids”. you sound like a narc.
she wore a street carnage shirt. that’s gay.
Suck a fucking dick Halfrican. I would respond point by point how wrong you are about everything you just said but that would take too long. So again, just suck a dick.
What you got? (directed at the bozo above me).
If it’s 3 inches of unrestrained masculinity, I’m up for the challange.
I’d inhale your mutherfucking peepee in an instant.
Give me your number, I’ll pop over
THIS SUCKS FUCKING ASS DO YOU THINK IVE GOT UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF TIME TO SIT AND WATCH THIS SHIT? MOTHER FUCKING TITS OR MOTHERFUCKING GTFO!
what the hell are you doing? fucking retard
. . . dick or GTFO!
Gavin needs to go down to that shitty little mine and bring back Sam immediately.
once i took 3 bcp at once when i thought i was pregnant and i felt so sick i had to leave work to go home and curl up in bed in a fetal position. the nausea was so bad that i couldn’t do things like pay attention to tv or get up to take a shower until late that night. so i call bullshit on this. i really don’t believe you can eat more than 4 or 5 and not have to go to hospital. but i guess this is all obvs by her “fuck this shit!!!” reaction at the end which is just terrible acting.
she is amazing
what i’m i doing here
This was pointless aside from the fact that shes cute. I saw her in person the other day actually, drunk as fuck outside of Happy Ending, bending over in a skirt with no panties. Nice pussy lol
..not even joking
wow she really decked out her cheer camp shirt.
oh wait that’s a streetcarnage shirt, what the hell.
seriously? those pushups are lame. Sam did prison pushups, this rich girl looking for street cred can’t even bend her elbows.
not a good debut. U gotta go hardcore before anyone will giggle at something like this. U just seem like a pussy.
Suggestion: Salvia and Meth
as I was reading these comments I noticed that there is a bunch of haters out there. Its obviously a joke.
@Saedtler- what the fuck does having a lot of hair on your head have to do with shaving or waxing down there. Idiots.
do not want
haha, fucking retard, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN? you’ll get a mad heavy period and barf all over the place for days. it’s hormones! stick with the coke @ the stockroom at american apparel you dumb hipster cunt.
[...] turns out that I can’t do push-ups so instead I decided to stick to something I love and am good at: hooking up with guys. Earlier [...]
Feral Boy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFTeb17uv2Q
FAKER
All the sam postings are gone. That’s too bad I was gonna send some links to somebodies daddy – not sam’s.
Fuck you street carnage. Street carnage is to vice what south park is to the simpsons. An attempt to improve on an original, and while I applaud the lack of sentimentality it is ultimately a hate inducing waste of time. I am sure this website only thrives when it has controbutors who want to ruin their lives in the process.