This game is more for unmarried men but anyone can play it. Next time you’re waiting for the train and the one going in the other direction pulls in, know that you have to choose a wife out of whoever comes out.
If your friend says “Polka dots,” you had better say, “Black chick” before the next stop or you will never get laid again, ever.
This game is more for unmarried men but anyone can play it. Next time you’re waiting for the train and the one going in the other direction pulls in, know that you have to choose a wife out of whoever comes out. You can’t divorce her and you guys have to have sex at least three times a week for the rest of your life. If you haven’t chosen one by the time everyone exits the platform you will be single forever and you can’t have sex with anyone, ever. There is some controversy over whether you should choose a guy at this point because people in prison seem to think it’s better than nothing. I’ll leave it up to you. Just understand that once they walk past you, they are gone forever. You have to choose them before they pass and there’s no take-backs.
Some can’t handle the pressure and choose the first all-right looking woman they see. Others like to live life on the edge and will let some cute ones go by assuming there’s better ones to come. It’s like blackjack in that sense. One time I was playing it with David Choe and he got a perfect stunner right out the gate. I held out until the last few stragglers and ended up being forced to take a very fat grandma with a cane. When David saw what my hubris had wrought he yelled, “IN YOUR FUCKING FACE!” in my fucking face.
Sometimes you’ll choose one early just to be safe and the perfect woman will walk by (not just hot but you can tell by her clothes, you guys would be good buddies). If you’re really into the game, you’ll get tourettes about it and involuntarily say “Fuck” at the one who got away. Also, if she’s hot but corny and wearing gross shoes don’t be too proud of yourself. You guys are going to be miserable. It’s not just about hotness. You’re choosing a mate.
Once you’re on the train you can play it again. You have to choose which woman you want forever before the next stop and you can only use the car you’re in. You can’t walk around either. It’s only who you can see from where you’re standing. If your friend calls her first, you can’t have her. Try not to point at women and yell, “Called it” or “I get her.” It’s rude. Just a casual, “red jacket and glasses” to your competitor will do.
You can play it by yourself or compete with friends. If you’re walking around the city, start at the corner of one block and know you have to choose a wife by the time you get to the next corner. If you ever see a guy clench his fists and yell “SHIT” by himself on a street corner, you’re probably looking at someone who waited until the end of the block and ended up sexless for life. You can only do this once per outing though. Starting from scratch every block takes the suspense out.
This game is obviously co-ed but I’ve noticed women kind of shrug when they play it and go, “I’ll take him, I guess.” This is either because women aren’t as competitive as men or maybe men are kind of gross and women aren’t that jazzed about having to marry us in the first place.
Cool Game Bro.
definitely a better game than “dibs”
just see a hot chick and call dibs, see a nasty beast and call dibs for another player
and it’s fine to barter or have other people call off your dibs if you picked miss “sexy” shorts from boner 1241
…..I really can’t believe how gay you sound.
Seems interesting.
this was a good lunch-time read. me and a buddy of mine play games like this. it can be really frustrating.
i see pretty girls and i just want all of them. i want them forever and it pains me to know some slobbering goon gets to have her.
adding a game just makes it worse.
I see what you did right there.
This is making a commentary on life and life can be viewed as a game and if you fuck around you can in fact end up sexless and alone. This fits within your agenda and thats ok. Im bummed out but also looking forward to playing this game.
I prefer the game where you choose a hooker from a window and bang her.
good thing I’m never fully sober in public because just the explanation of this game would ruin my buzz. yeah we get it people are desperate and end up with people they hate for fear of being alone. Got the memo.
I don’t have any friends or go anywhere so I’ll just play using this picture….blurry lady in pink
The thought of trying to play this game in DC is terribly depressing, and going with no.thanks’s logic, kind of explains why I haven’t had a girlfriend in years. Damn. I think I need to get the fuck out of here.
i play this game too, but i call it “who would you do?” you gotta pick a gal and your stuck with her, if a sexier gal gets on the train, or you couldn’t see her from where you were standing — you lose.
i stopped playing this when i got married , it wasnt even conscious sort of faded away ..
@thisgameonlyworksinNYC:
Yep. DC is a mighty Slagdom.
the steaks are so hai in this shit! love it.
@yikes – ur time will come be easy man
@everyone – SF is the worst place ever for this game, worse then DC, baltimore, the south watever, – worstchixintheworld
I used to play a similar rendition of this game.
Escalators are great, if you and an opponent enter at the same time you have to pick somebody who enters going the opposite direction before your escalator comes to an end.
Also city blocks are great – but depending on how busy the city is would affect the distance. Sometimes you need to call out other landmarks further ahead.
What happened to you Gavin?
How do you sleep at night ya cunt?
It won’t work in Austin because most of the girls around here are either 14 (or look like it) or are 54.
this is the dumbest shit i have ever read
@no.thanks.
analysis is legit
@schlomo: its dumb and amazing. its dumbazing.
thanks for sharing, gavin!
My wife and I play a variant called Who Are We Taking Home tonight.
Invariably, we never agree.
i just laughed at this at my desk and then had to explain to the girl at work what the game was. it sounded reaaaaaallllllly weird.
Also, Nikhil did you read this? its funny eh. what are you up to on the weekend we should smoke some weed
I don’t believe Clifford really lives in Austin because last time I checked Austin is full of hot chicks covered in tattoos with gigantic tits. Like it’s uncanny, they have to be putting something in the water.
i have a better game called thats your dad
its about finding the most grossest working drunk/homeless on the train. you say “thats your dad” to your friend.
endgggame.
I will try it out later, It would work really well when you been up all night and
going home from a bender. All horny, the cocaine twitch I see that being rad!
you gotta chuck something man, them is the rules.
you gotta choose to fuck only one, chuck only one and marry only one.
wowww, sweet game bro…
I do a variation of this game, but I do it at Children’s Hospitals.
WHAT???????????? STILL too soon?????????? Give a brother a break.
Shouldn’t you be making a webisode on something completely….original….? I mean, this is a bit of a laugh isn’t it? This could be “the car game” while walking down the street, or “the couch game” while leafing through a ikea (or sears) catalogue. It’s just not that interesting….or funny.