Posted by
Taeil
• 03.26.08 07:33 am

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You know, people have this misconstrued idea about Marines. They think we’re jock meatheads and obsessed with: sex, getting drunk, and throwing puppies over cliffs.

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You know, people have this misconstrued idea about Marines. They think we’re jock meatheads and obsessed with: sex, getting drunk, and throwing puppies over cliffs. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Marines are jock meatheads obsessed with one thing: World of Warcraft. Sex, getting drunk, and throwing puppies over cliffs come way after.
Holy crap has this game ruined the joy of Internet on my own laptop over here. My entire battery raised enough funds for a satellite system costing well over 4,000 dollars only to have the shittiest bandwidth in the world because it gets throttled after guys in my platoon spend all night playing fucking WoW. It’s pointless spending money on overpriced Internet that doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter if it’s the shitbird, fat, nasty, Marine pogue of the bunch, or the PT Nazi grunt, there is always at least one level 60 Mage in any unit ruining the Internet for the rest of us.

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Comments
  1. Haze says:

    WoW ruins yet more lives.

  2. blurgh says:

    I thought this was going to be about “Whip ‘em Out Wednesdays”

  3. erik says:

    holy shit, how have i never heard about that puppy thing before this!
    shit is dope!

  4. Dr. Gori's LoveChild says:

    What kind of gubmint makes their soldiers pay for better Internet? Shit should be “blazing fast” and free like cigarettes (hopefully?), boots and bullets. And Lee Greenwood albums.

    Good post, as usual! Keep them coming!

  5. muthafutha says:

    if this army ever actually gets into the shit rest assured they’ll have loads of prior experience due to W0W, just because.

  6. al says:

    Ive never seen that puppy shit before either… that was hilarious.

  7. Sasha says:

    That puppy shit was fucked up. Our world culture has lost the ability to laugh humbly at it’s most sacred notions, which makes those notions sort of dangerous…laughing at a hapless puppy on Youtube is not indicative of a healthy sense of humour. Laughing at – but not mocking- math, Mohammed, and Jesus is much healthier.

    Al and Erik are clearly 14 year old normys.

  8. Renee says:

    Soldiers have to pay for internet?! that’s as fucked up as throwing puppies off of cliffs.

    The world is a sad sad place.

  9. Cuntegonde says:

    Sasha, your words speak true to my ears.

    I find your ideas intriguing and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  10. PETA says:

    If I had to pay for my fukin internet Id probably throw a puppy off a cliff for kicks too.

    Oh also if I was surrounded by human death everyday Id probably take little stock in the life of one little fuckin puppy.

    Its ok that brown babies are dying cuz their brown… but when a puppy gets launched over a cliff we pause for a moment of sadness…

    fuckin animal lovers man.

  11. fuck puppies says:

    that’s the best video I’ve ever seen, ever

  12. honez says:

    Wow will be recognized as a signifier in the future representing the point when video games became more addictive than any smack the would could possibly offer.

  13. honez says:

    the world could

  14. bren says:

    In Vietnam the soldiers came home addicted to smack and PSD. In Iraq the soldiers come home addicted to WOW with an epic mount.

  15. billiam5billion says:

    how about those giant routers with a zillion cords coming out of them and snaking through the buildings taped to walls and shit? Try to trace that fucker back to your room after some WoW loving bitch unplugs your shit while you’re trying to have webcam sex with your girlfriend who’s probably getting reamed on the side as it is. War is hell.

  16. J. Beezzy says:

    yet another masterfull blog well put 2gether, AMEN Bruddah, AMEN…..
    FUCK W.O.W. PERIOD!!!!!!!!!

  17. J. Beezzy says:

    those are some homosexual looking knee pads by the way….

  18. ghb says:

    i thought this was going to be a story about soilders tattoing W on each of ther butt chechs

  19. 000 says:

    I guess when your tromping threw villages all day beating civilians,It feels good to defend one against an ogre attack for a change

  20. muthafutha says:

    when your expunging the vast territories of killer puppies video games make for a nice change yes

  21. beckita says:

    I think I’d be safer trying heroin a few dozen times that touching this shit even once.

  22. IMA PILLAGE YOUR ASSHOLE

  23. lee says:

    use protection, and no one will get the wow.


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