In Chuck Zito’s rollicking memoir Street Justice, he talks about when it’s right to fight. There’s the obvious cases where someone is threatening your family (yes) and
In Chuck Zito’s rollicking memoir Street Justice, he talks about when it’s right to fight. There’s the obvious cases like when someone is threatening your family (yes) or when some drunk asshole is screaming to himself in a parking lot (no) but what about the gray area in between?
Zito has found the exact line where yes and no become “I dunno.” This magic scenario separates the men from the boys but to be totally honest, I’m not sure which one I am. I’m a man but I have a boy and a girl depending on me. I can’t be calling every motherfucker out for being a dick. What if I get stabbed? Now some stranger has received a scolding and two children no longer have a father. However, you hate yourself if you go through life hiding from every confrontation. It’s not a great example to set either. I know a bunch of MMA guys who happily take on nuts on the subway even when they have nothing to do with it and when I mention the stab possibility they always shrug and say, “That’s the way it’s gotta be.” Really? “Has” to be? I’m not so sure.
From pages 109-110…
Please answer in the comments below. Do you “Steven Seagal” the kids like you’re the policeman of the world and risk getting gutted by some stupid kids OR do you crawl away like a pussy and hate yourself forever?
-GAVIN McINNES
I join in with the kids and leave my car, abandoned, in the street and run with the youthful pack. Who knows where it will take me. With aplomb, I accept my new future.
RUN THEM OVER
TUNE THOSE FUCKERS!
Your timing posting this is perfect, it’s been something I’ve been wrestling with lately, whether I’m too hard on strangers and holding their behaviour to the high standard of my own…
So I’d say something, give them hell, use my words, no threat of violence on my end, but self-defense, better yet, self-preservation, keep a distance, but in now way let them get away with it.
Also, choose your battles, if someone looks like a total reckless psychopath, maybe make the distance I keep a little further than typical.
You have to let the small stuff slide. The kids are pretty wild now a days. There are too many variables. Even if you properly “Seagal” the shit out of the kids you still have to worry about retaliation (they remember you, your car, your address). Then your looking over your shoulder because you wanted to show that your not a pussy. You look at it as kids being kids and you promptly remember all the fucked up things you did to people when you were young and you chalk it up to karma or retribution or whatever it is that lets you sleep like a man.
Yeah I’d probably just open the window and call them faggots and talk about their mothers cunts or something of that nature. If I had a passenger I’d have them moon them or something of the sort, flash some nut sack, no one likes to see that.
I’m a little dubious of the “run em over” votes when the guy can’t even leave his real name.
I had some kids smoking pot in my lobby the other day. I told them to get the fuck out and they did but outside they stepped to me and said, “What the fuck you gonna do about it?” If I fought them and won, they’d need to come back for revenge to save face. If I fought them and lost, I’ve been beat up by teenagers in front of my girlfriend (AKA dumped).
So, I didn’t say shit, saw a cop a block later, and told him to go deal with it. Word got out that I’m some pussy fag who calls the cops at the drop of a hat and now the local kids don’t fuck with me because it ain’t worth going to juvi. They don’t respect me obviously but they’re out of my hair and I’m safe.
I felt like a total pussy taking this route but I still think it was the best one.
This is why there’s a supershooter water gun filled with diarrhea in my glove box right now.
If they’re on foot and you’re in a car—it’s much simpler to shake your head and drive away once you’ve collected yourself.
If a similarly vexing event transpires wherein both parties are on foot, then I can see how it may escalate with gravity and ease.
Additionally, most people who are well trained in combat sports/arts usually maintain without having to digress but when they do it is without abstraction.
I’d tell them about my awesome program at Penn State for young people looking to change their lives through sports….
Ignore them and save the ultra-violence for situations that truly require it. Sure it would be nice to think I could give them a ‘talking-to’ that they would pay attention to, but would they listen? No. Maybe long enough to decide if they’re going to stab, shoot, or happy-slap me. So.
“some nut sack, no one likes to see that” – awesome.
AND THEN BACK UP AND RUN OVER THEM AGAIN. NO TESTIMONY!
You don’t fight them, you don’t ignore them. You fishtail the car and ten pin them onto the berm because “I swerved to avoid a third younger boy stepping into the roadway through the glare of the other car’s headlights. I’m devasted at what happened and pray that at least he is alright…”
I don’t see this as different than any other beat down situation. Only two things you need to ask. 1) Can you get away with it, and do they or the neighborhood know you? 2) Are you with your girlfriend?
Contrary to logical thought, you shouldn’t be with a girl that likes to see you beat on people unless they need your protection. An assault charge is never worth it, violating probation blows. Rarely do judges care that “they started it” and you just happenned to cave eye sockets. Other than that a headbutt to the nose usually solves everything. If you’re a minor, swing away.
I’d only confront them if they were black. When white kids do stuff like that, you know that they are just goofing around. When black kids do stuff like that, you know that they are looking for a fight.
I’d get out of the car, give them each a kiss on the cheek, and invite them over to my house where I’d make them breakfast.
I’d do what I usually do. Offer to buy them beer, roofie them, upload the video to a Tor site.
Sorry guys, I would probably plow into them.
I don’t dodge squirrels of other critters because I am unwilling to risk my life for, well, critters.
Small kids is a completely different story.
Two adult looking people I will try to miss but no way will I risk me or my family swerving dangerously.
I would hate to give someone their Darwin Award, but hey, them or me.
Dark figures = Black N-WordPeople ?
I don’t know. Either way, it all sounds like a lot of work to me.
I’d be too high to care. let ‘em jaywalk, I’m likely driving 13 mph anyways.
the most crucial element to being a real man is the ability to get laid at will. the second most crucial element is being able to defend yourself against clear, brazen threats to your honor. Neither great physical strength nor the ability the powerfully harangue wayward youth are necessary to fulfill both elements; therefore, you can let this scenario slide and not at all feel that your masculinity has been threatened. So if you’re an alpha in mold of Chuck Zito, where all your credibility is grounded in an aura of intimidation and physicality, then by all means follow through. but if you’re just some wise cracking hard drinking buffoon that plays guitar and has piercing blue eyes, then why bother trying to engage one of your weaker suits? they’re just fucking kids having a laugh anyway.
That’s the rock and the hard place of being a grown up. We live in a society where even if you win that fight you lose, because if the cops show up, the winner goes straight to jail and the loser goes to the hospital, so in the long run who won? It’s a tough one especial when we live in a society of so many passive aggressive douches who will twist your tit precisely because they’ve never been humbled by taking a punch to the face.
I never ran away from a fight growing up, but as an adult it’s like getting into an argument over a parking space, you have no idea what is going on with the other total stranger, who’s willing to get right back in your face and has a knife or a gun. Growing up in NYC, I’ve seen most street fights aren’t fair and the odds of some bad shit happening even if you win are far too great.
The older you get you realize that most real hard asses are the ones who know when to avoid a fight even though they could beat the crap out of the other person because they don’t trust that it ends with the other guy staying down and not reaching for a knife or a piece, or his friends coming out of nowhere if you win.
There are times when you do just have to bust someone’s ass, but it’s based on where you’re at in life, according to the level of risk you’re comfortable with, and how much you care about what you have to lose. When you’ve got a family and you’re not a self concerned dick, you got no business throwing down in front of your kids, unless they’re in danger or someone else is being threatened in front of you and you don’t see a choice. If your kids are in front of you, your responsibility is to something else outside of you, not your ego.
Your MMA friends are idiots who are cruising towards a manslaughter charge or a bullet in the head. There’s a reason that Mike Tyson won’t ever through a punch at someone on a street no matter how much you taunt him, he’s learned over the years that his fist are legally classified as lethal weapons and he goes down for assault with a deadly weapon for swinging them once on the street.
You’re supposed to brake when kids are crossing the street? Live and learn, I guess.
people who say they won’t swerve to avoid a squirrel because they refuse to risk their own life secretly enjoy killing squirrels. brake and veer slightly to the shoulder. it’s easier than parallel parking.
I never got run over by anyone doing that sort of stuff
they would always drive away, as I do now.
I want to know how people handle the threats of getting shot
Did anyone jaywalk like in this guy’s book, or threaten to shoot people when there was nobody around besides the threatener and threatenee?
I would remember what an asshole I was when I was a kid and let it go. If they threw something at my nice Taurus though I’d get out and stab them.
People who say they won’t swerve to avoid a squirrel because they refuse to risk their own life secretly enjoy killing squirrels. Brake and veer slightly to the shoulder. It’s easier than parallel parking.
If a couple jerk teens made me fly off the road I would run them down and pull e-brake turns over their bodies à la a vehicular homicide Yves Klein performance.
I’m one of those loo-loo’s that has a gun on them pretty much at all times for absolutely no reason other than the incredibly slim, lottery-winner chance that I run across three huge guys raping a woman or something equally ridiculous, and even *I* wouldn’t get out of my car just because some kids didn’t cross at the “appropriate lane.” Honestly, who cares? The only time you should get into a fight is if your girlfriend’s honor is besmirched or you just can’t get out of it any other way, and there’s people around to break it up if it gets too bad. And once you have kids you have to let EVERYTHING slide unless THEY’RE the ones being harassed. Sorry.
Basically you get totally pissed but don’t do anything other than fume for a while. The next time someone does something remotely stupid yet insignificant you totally overreact and look like a total tool.
MORE IMPORTANTLY DID GAV REALLY READ A 100 PAGES OF THIS BOOK TO GET TO THIS PAGE??????
i pray the world blows up so we can look at the bright side
I would show them my dong and let them think about odors.
“Always got my windows rolled down.”
Don’t run over them, didn’t you read Bonfire of the Vanities?
If they’re white kids just let it go. Otherwise, be sure you’re going the speed limit if you decide to run the pricks over. Then pull over at a safe distance and call 911. You want it ruled an accident, not a hit and run.
Here, if a kid steps out in front of your car, they want you to stop so they can rob you or worse. I’ve had this happen twice & both times I floored it at them. They managed to get the hell outta the way.
Otherwise, I don’t get in fights because I’m a girl & I don’t want to break a nail.
offer to buy them beer, then drive them to a remote location pretending like there’s something wrong with your car when you pull over and get out. then ditch them. or if there are no witnesses you could murder them.
Hey if I’m riding some mythical, astrological bull down the street and 2 kids step out in front of me, they’re more than likely Gods masquerading as street urchins to gauge my reaction before returning to Olympus or coin heaven or whatever and deciding my fate. I would offer them the best cut of meat from my fattest calf and enough wine for all of us to share. I read the Odyssey in college and I know what comes from dishonoring the Gods. Fucking punks.
In my neighborhood, I carefully slow down and let them pass. Many are totally strapped here in the East Bay, Subaru-ing dyke moms, juveniles, homeless looking fuckers. The only youts who do that slow-walk shit are the terminally bored, disenfranchised and the middle-class white kids wanting to be them. As I cruise slowly by after, I make sure to leave the expressionless impression that I would be happy to shoot them or maim them w/ any number of things I have in reach, including fucking ceramic coffee cups, and then call the cops and lie about the situation. I actually don’t have a gun, but they don’t know that. Thats the excitement/boredom thing. I’m from Dad’s “You think thats funny? I’ll show you funny.” – And nothing was funny. Yes, I find out where they live, and quietly campaign their landlord and the Section 8 board such that their family looses their place. It take about half a year. It provides satisfaction.