THE BEASTIE BOYS LIED
(The Beastie Boys thirty years ago. That’s Kate on the left)
If you ask anyone in the mainstream media how many lies the Beastie Boys have told they would say “none.” China IS encroaching on Tibet. The Kyoto treaty we DID neglect. It IS time we move a little to the left etc. What these journalists would net tell you is that long ago, before Rick Rubin got them to lose the fat chick the Beastie Boys were a punk band, a pretty great punk band actually but a punk band that told lies. Case in point: “Egg Raid on Mojo.”
The song is from their 1982 debut Pollywog Stew and it is a raucous adventure of an anthem that describes sneaking up on a bouncer named Mojo and whipping eggs at the guy. Mojo is a big black punk rocker that used to do security at all the late night joints in New York and this usually meant anyone with a mohawk got to the front of the line. Punks like the Beastie Boys enjoyed this special treatment until Mojo got a job at a fancy club (was it The Pyramid?) and had to follow the rules. “I tried to explain to them this wasn’t like the other after hours places and I’d lose my job if I let them in,” explained Mojo in a candid tell-all exclusive with Street Carnage, “but they wouldn’t listen.” Shortly after Mojo’s rejection the alterna-teens went to a local bodega and bought a dozen eggs. The plan was to, at the very least, kill him.
(Mojo today in Brooklyn)
Then, as the song goes, “We snuck up around the back / We began to attack / The eggs they cracked on mojo’s back…” Only, it wasn’t true. “Not one egg hit me,” Mojo insists, “In fact, I used my hat to catch a lot of them and even started throwing eggs back. I remember hitting at least one of them in the head.”
“Egg Raid on Mojo” by The Beastie Boys
PS: The Beastie Boys were unavailable for comment (Wendy Mullin is friends with the cute one and we told her to ask him about this but she never responded).
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01.24.08 at 10:58 pm
Of course, the lyrics from that song later went on to become “Eggman” off of Paul’s Boutique.
01.25.08 at 11:04 am
I’d like to see someone catch and egg that has been thrown at them (not lobbed, not tossed underhand) without it breaking - then throw it back no less.
I have no reason to doubt “Mojo” but that is ridiculous.
01.28.08 at 2:16 am
Mojo uses pressure points, that’s how he got the name, and his bouncer gigs. I’m surprised you didn’t know that “jjb” (if that is your real name).
I heard he whipped Spanish omlette at Yauch.
06.12.08 at 4:49 pm
mojo also says he’s got doctorates in anthropology and french lit, and he’s got a penchant for twinkish svelty white boys. I wouldn’t trust his word as far as I could throw him.
06.24.08 at 4:22 pm
I can tell you that what time some asshole threw an egg real hard at me from a car. It bounced off my belly and landed in my palm. I was like, “whaaa…?” I then threw it back and it struck the car. It is totally possible.
08.20.08 at 7:26 pm
HOLY FUCK!!! THATS DJ MOJO FROM TRASHBAR!! i know that dude. even though i was real into the beasties as an adolescent, i never knew it was the same guy, awesome!!