Mo’Nique has an effervescence that is unparalleled by any other “Big Girl” or skinny bitch. She’s gutsy, in charge and quite large. She is a powerhouse and when she’s a powerhouse she’s a power all around the house. But seriously, my t-shirt of the week goes to Mo’Nique.
Mo’Nique has an effervescence that is unparalleled by any other “Big Girl” or skinny bitch. She’s gutsy, in charge and quite large. She is a powerhouse and when she’s a powerhouse she’s a power all around the house. But seriously, my t-shirt of the week goes to Mo’Nique.
Available on her OFFICIAL WEBSITE (try not to dance to the site’s hit single, “Mo’ Sassy, Mo’ Sassy”), it comes in large, XL, and XXXL, and is available only in black — not unlike Mo’Nique herself. The t-shirt is shear perfection with a tastefully massive photograph of her kickin’ it in pearls, probably at some classy Falafel shop somewhere. That’s my Mo’, Mo’.
Why a Mo’Nique t-shirt? It’s simple darling: With a Gucci belt and some of them there, Christian Louboutin shoes, the XXL would be unstoppable as a dress. Not to mention, a Mo’Nique t-shirt will immediately say so many things to the world that you don’t have time to explain. You are fucking busy, OK? Here are just a few things the shirt from God will scream to the public for you:
Star and Al (I think Star is the one in the foreground)
1) You are part of an elite movement of large women married to men with secret lives.
In Mo’ Mo’s case it is Sidney Hicks, a gentleman of refined tastes whose constantly maintained facade reminds one of Star Jone’s mega-hetro ex-husband, Al Reynolds.
Mo’Nique and the ever so fastidious Sid
2) You are incredibly progressive and do not care if your husband fucks 20 other people on the side. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker.
3) You can be incredibly glamorous. You love letting your hair all over your body and so does your husband, who is very much into women.
4) You love hours of comedy that was written in five minutes, ensconced in the phrase “motherfucker” and features jokes about being large, being a large woman, hating skinny bitches, being big, being a big girl and not liking small girls.
5) You are simply the best. Bigger than all the rest. Even in prison.
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Ergo, whether you are a skinny bitch or an ample delight, get a Mo’Nique t-shirt. Heaven is 3 mouse clicks away. Don’t be an idiot, get a Mo shirt and be Mo’ Unique than everyone around you.
XO
-PINKY
P.S. When you get the shirt, send us a picture: SBTVC@StreetCarnage.com.
“Don’t be an idiot, get a Mo shirt and be Mo’ Unique than everyone around you.”
Ima be Mo’ beddah when I git dem shitz. I was trippin’ when Howard was playing that clip where she was talking about how coarse and tough her leg hair is. Total vomit-in-mouth style.
That Al guy looks like Star Jones is dancing with a mannequin. No wonder she dumped his freaky ass.
It also helps that these guys are female beards… they are GAY!
I hate that bitch.
The only one that tops Mo’Nique is Sherri Shepherd
she is a delight!
shirt only comes in sizes L-XXXL
She can barely breathe. I bet she has oxygen just off stage.
Missy Elliot is also a large black gay woman.
i wonder how much tickets to that show cost. i bet under $10
This made my Friday night! Thank you De’beckles!
I think I’d rather invest all my hard earned money on something a little better…
Like that apron that says “Skinny Cooks Can’t Be Trusted” featuring a delightful caricature of Mo’nique as a tomato.
I bet when Mo’nique takes a shit the earth tilts.
She won an Oscar!