They are playing that Everlast song on every fucking radio station in Austin. It’s crazy. That’s really my only complaint, though. Day 3 started (or failed to start) by my sleeping until 2 p.m. because I’ve been burning the candle from every end.
They are playing that Everlast song on every fucking radio station in Austin. It’s crazy. That’s really my only complaint, though. Day 3 started (or failed to start) by my sleeping until 2 p.m. because I’ve been burning the candle from every end. I awoke at to an email from this dude named Heathcliff, asking me if I wanted to hang with Ninjasonik at an event designed to connect shitty apparel brands with taste-makers and shit, but they didn’t give me anything for free so I won’t mention who they were. They did manage to connect my face with a beer (again, before I even had anything to eat). Jessica showed up wasted. These tacos were delicious and free:
The gentlemen of Ninjasonik are no stranger to Street Carnage, and it’s because they are a real delight. They skated up to the venue and didn’t carry their boards by the trucks, which goes a long way with me (it’s pretty much the most accurate indicator of a non-dipshit). We did a little interview where they rapped the whole time, but my recording was so shitty that I had to transcribe it from my really bleary memory. I think it went something like this:
Ninjasonik
Ninjasonik: Do you know the black guy with the grey hair?
Me: No.
Ninjasonik: What about the guy with the twisty mustache?
Me: Gavin? No.
Then they started breakdance fighting and I wondered if it’s racist to think that black people are better at everything.
Ninjasonik breakdance fighting
The next band was a bunch of hippies who wouldn’t stop yelling at us so we left.
With no plan, we walked into the tent at Emo’s and were greeted by my future-baby’s-mom — the floor-tom abusing chanteuse at the helm of the best band I’ve seen at SXSW yet: GIVERS.
GIVERS
They are from Lafayette, Louisiana, and you can’t have her — she’s mine. GIVERS rocks like The Dirty Projectors should. Homegirl plays a million instruments and it delights me to know that they aren’t from fucking New York. They are playing a free show at Brooklyn Bowl on May 5th. Do yourself a favor and give them some money, and if anyone knows her name, tell me so I can add her on Facebook — say I won’t! Say it!
We smoked some Mexican cigs with some Mexican girls and one Scottish one (the girl, not the cigarette):
It’s tough to find a bartender that will make you a bloody mary after 3 p.m., but we managed to find a liquid lunch. We trekked to a rap show and Gza executed a fine performance with a razor sharp Liquid Sword. It didn’t even matter that he couldn’t remember half of the INS verse from Triumph (am I getting to into this? Just wait).
The pinnacle of my existence took place later when we ran into The Genius again, this time at Beauty Bar and he was with his friend BILL FUCKING MURRAY.
Remember Coffee and Cigarettes?
Not a fucking joke, patna. They actually hang together, and they were HAMMERED. Of course, that did not stop me from taking a shot with Gza and, hence, achieving one of my life’s greatest ambitions. Thanks again, Heathcliff.
Having a shot with Gza
A bunch of other stuff happened, all of which pales in comparison to being within the immediate proximity of the two most badass people ever. Jessica ninja back-flipped and disappeared with some dude — I’m not implying anything by that (yes, I am). Afterward, I ended up in some club where I made out with a girl, who I’m pretty sure was hideous. I should mention, at this point, that bringing my dick to Austin has been like bringing clowns to the circus. For every single girl at SXSW there are 20 dudes in bands who have hotel rooms and sexy accents and tattoos.
On my way home, I stumbled into an Australian guy from the hostel who told me about a show on a bridge at 4 a.m. We went, it was awesome and it could probably never happen anywhere else.
We had fourthmeal at a Mexican restaurant where I shared with him Dave Chappelle’s thoughts on Mexican food: It’s just five ingredients rearranged. I suggested floutas. He seemed happy.
Free drinks so far: 20
Free meals: 3
now THIS was radass coverage!
yes, this is awesome.
now, i gotta put on my faggot hat and tell you that it was Jim Gaffigan, not D. Chappelle that talked about mexican food having five interchangeable ingredients.
I don’t want to say it, but: TOTES JELS
These articles are actually getting better.
Love the way you write!
great photos too. sc should send you to all the hotspots that a black man with grey hair and a dude with a twisty mustache are too old to go to. seriously, great coverage, made me wish i was there.
go home. your sucking the life out of austin. take your logos and free crap.
leave the tits and beer. thank you
Good post blown to shit on Comedian Mix Up.
@skull front – seriously, nobody gives a shit about your pain. I lived in Tucson (always on the verge of being the next austin, and never quite making it) and the hipsters there, like the ones from austin, were ten times worse than anybody I met in Brooklyn. They’re basically just a bunch of insular townies who figured out how to dress by reading a magazine and who hide their inferiority complex (because they live in fucking Austin, or Tucson, or Portland, and can’t escape the karmic gravity well of the b-list towns they grew up in/accidentally moved to because they couldn’t afford one of the big cities) behind bullshit cynicism. You’re the reason why austin sucks now, not the other way around.
@?? – if that’s all it takes to ruin something good for you, perhaps you should go kill yourself. Life is too full of disappointments for someone of your delicate sensibilities to survive. We’ll miss you (not really).
After hanging with a drunken GZA and Billy Murray not only is the rest of SXSW probabaly going to be downhill, so is life.
Unless you maybe you get to do the whitehouse tour with Jim Carrey high on PCP.
this is good!
I guess it’s kind of late to mention, but this blog tells about sxsw free food–
http://sxswfreenoms.tumblr.com/
Hey! Now I regret going to Kentucky and Detroit instead of SXSW. Fuck…
the pic of “gza” where it’s too dark 2 c the black guy…is racist
@unclaimed smegma
wah. suck your free shit bag from the rip off factory. you’re being played.
uhhhhh, what’s wrong w/ carrying ur board by the trucks?
p.s. my favorite “dipshit indicatory” is dweebs in buddy holly glasses. you should grow a goatee to complete the douche tri-fecta
happy this makes me. come back.
gza and bill murray should run for president and vice-president together but they should say that they’ll both be president and vice-president when they win. they should also make all bitches blow them that are hatin on terry richardson.
cool story, bro.
Dude, this is so awesome.
Use a condom, Jessica!
Hey Clayton! Is Jessica Chink from San Francisco too? I’m pretty sure Jessica and I used to ride the 49 bus home from Guitar Center at night and drink white wine out of the bottle… only I knew her by a different name back then. I’m not really sure why we’d get in touch, but I’ll stick my email in the slot and hope to reconnect with an old friend. PEACE!
what’s with the BLUSH on that BISH
Nope, J-Chizzy is from Brooklyn.
Nice one, Clayton.
” I wondered if it’s racist to think that black people are better at everything.”
Not racist, just wrong. Try “academics.” Or “holding a nation together.”
Thanks Clayton. Mystery solved.
Remember when Fucked Up played on a bridge last year at 4am and everyone was all “Yah! Only at SXSW.” It happened again.
I keep running into Dick Beckles, he looks as though he hasn’t slept in 5 years.
and stockbauer looks like he hasn’t pooped in 7 years.
FUCK COFFEE/CIGARETTES, WHAT ABOUT BOB??
Carrying your board by the truck is called a mall grab and most skaters relate it to being a phoney/loser/dork/poser/douche. This is complete bullshit however as it is the easiest andmost comfortable way to carry the board. If you care how you look when your a grown man carrying a skateboard then I think your missing the point. Kisses
Teddy Lamson is her name.. Lead singer and only female in Givers…. VERY Talented woman, with a HUGE heart and Love for music. * Good lucky on making her ur future baby’s momma thing.
Fake Vane$$a gets me down. For completely illogical reasons, I feel exactly the same about the holding the skateboard by the trucks thing. And finally, I would consider that Coffee & Cigarettes scene to be a low-point in Bill Murray’s career.
@Mall Grabber
mot only is it an easy way to carry a board, but you can turn from board to battle axe in a pinch like that.. in case of emergencies.
My band played that bridge at 1am and Bill Murray watched our set. Probably one of the greatest nights of my life.
Capoeira?
[...] Clayton for ruining my relationship with his malicious blogger lies (Please refer to Day 3’s recap) [...]
Only fags mall grab. It’s not for looks ‘tards. Trucks are too close to the wheels aka the grossest, dirtiest things ever. Have fun getting hep c. None of you skate.
@ Some Silly Girl-
I just added her on Facebook. I’ll keep y’all posted on the state of our love-child conception.