Posted by
Blognigger
• 04.01.09 11:59 am

Everything has been FUCKING GREAT with my wife since she got off my dick and got a hobby. Seriously – I’m not even fucking around – having your wife get a hobby or some form of HER OWN SHIT is 99.99% of the battle. And it can’t be the kids or a TV show.

Everything has been FUCKING GREAT with my wife since she got off my dick and got a hobby. Seriously – I’m not even fucking around – having your wife get a hobby or some form of HER OWN SHIT is 99.99% of the battle. And it can’t be the kids or a TV show.

This is her new jam: She works peddling this Pearl Creme-style shit for OPIRG’s non-profit org out in Ohio. The creme is NOT brand-name informercial Pearl Creme, and you can tell because it actually works. Talk about pride in your work: look at the effects this gooky shit has on niggas out near Cleveland:



Result!!

And she’s not only happy and leaving me alone, she’s making these people’s lives better. You can see for yourself: She’s already repaired so much skin damage she makes Dr. Zizmor look like Chris Brown and a boxcutter.

Now, speaking of Asian shit that works, that VAL HALEN is a FUCKING prize. That picture of her downy soft midriff is too much for me to handle; my man rickrolls me to that shit during conference calls so that I drop loads onto my linux box.

Val and I are having an extremely hot bromance over on gay twitter, and tonight I’m gonna post some titty pics of her there and only there. Jesus I bet her box twists like an anime snapdragon.

Read my rationalization, quit your gay “Street Boning” style whining, and then just come out and hang.

  1. DEAR STREET CARNAGE READER
  2. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: DEAR DREW
  3. HOW TO NOT IMPRESS ANYONE
  4. ASK BLOGNIGGER: SHOULD I ADMIT TO MY WIFE THAT I’M GAY?
  5. R.E.M. AND DENNYS GET SERVED


Comments
  1. Vane$$a says:

    And the funny thing is that those NE Ohio union “workers” are probably her PIRG and/or ACORN colleagues. Now there’s a reputable racket. You’re losing my respect and you’re losing it fast. Oops…it’s gone. But yeah, those Ohio douchebags definitely deserve to have their shit run through the coals by hipsters on Viagra. They’re everything that the Newmore Switchblades are trying oh so hard to be, roots wise that is.

  2. street boning says:

    haaahahahaaaah

  3. howling fantods says:

    really? we’re gonna get butthurt because it’s funny that meth melts peoples faces, i’ve got better things to be sad about.

  4. Liquor Store says:

    Typical negro stepping on Euro necks when they’re down. Laugh now, Amos & Andy. Laugh now.

  5. crowd says:

    I think there is very little difference in the before and after shots

  6. Twaggot says:

    Totally, the cream hardly works, your wife is probably just fucking some guy

  7. Cap'n Glitterfuzz says:

    Well I’m sure life is lemonade as you’re plowing through the role-playing menu. Personally, I’d go straight for the cream slinger’s jugular: Saleswoman. If you’re lucky, crafty Val will whip up a latex suit and christen you Edward Bisexualhands (she’s not very creative). After you’re done Twitter fucking, your wife will stampede in through the door with a briefcase and two balmy tweekers.

    The next time something’s tweeting in the dome, I suggest you rail your Ativan. Of course it’s annoying if you trudge through the swamp of egocum that drips from the social networking community like the inside of your Dockers.

  8. cable guy says:

    @Cap’n Glitterfuzz

    your comment cannot be understood. please fix.

  9. white power says:

    meth muppets.

  10. Preck. says:

    you can not come after the asians, dark face. we are superrerir to all you black and white face americans. especially the dark faces ones.

    Some day i will in person make you to apologize to my feet blognigger!

    From PReck!

  11. komert says:

    those are all famed portland meth heads. misappropriation!!

  12. homeless. says:

    looks like im gonna be left standing in the dust on this one (bn on twitter), fuck it, i aint joining that shit.

  13. This sucks. It’s even worse than that pile about Jesus. You’re attempting humor by making fun of poor people. It must be so hard to dig nuggets out of that hoary old comedic twat. Great job, blognigger. And what’s with that name? Am I supposed to feel edgy and liberated every time I say it? Is it supposed to be some kind of fucking social statement of courage? Well, it could be, but as long as you limit yourself to this low traffic fail-site, it’s really just a pussy-ish little short-cut attempt at having something to say. Next time your wife is in the area, you should accompany her and drop by Youngstown for a Youngstown Snow Shovel. You’ll love it even more than the Cleveland Steamer, maybe. I’m sure that dumb-fuck Vane$$a can show you the way.

  14. chris kattan says:

    i’m funnier than you.

  15. White Guilt says:

    Now what do we suppose would have happend if one of these ole whitey writers had posted nothing but black faces for sport? Hmmmm…

    What a surprise to hear that your wife doesn’t work.

  16. Street Boning (The original BN hater) says:

    We all know this is your second Twitter account only it’s under the BN moniker.

    Your first involves tweets like; ‘O’Reilly is publishing a new book titled ‘Mastering cat,’ about the UNIX ‘cat’ command!!! So siked.’

    That pic of VAL did have me stalking her blog to the point where I thought Chris Hansen and his camera crew was going to bust into my room. Touche!

  17. April fools says:

    this is by jim goad

  18. kool moe doo dee says:

    low traffic? dems fightin words

  19. Ty says:

    Poor people are funny though.

  20. Vane$$a says:

    “this is by jim goad”

    NO shit.

  21. Sonny B. says:

    If you examine all of blognigger’s work, you’ll quickly notice that it’s gone from being real tight in the earlier days (I think his circumcision piece might be a good example of this) to being inconsistent, loosey-goosey, and unfocused. I suspect that he’s either lost interest or that the blognigger column gets passed around by these homos in the same way that emo chicks share their panties with their emo boyfriends. It’s all very cute, but in the end, you just want to see the chick (the original blognigger) in the panties. The other possibility is that he got so rattled by Vane$$a’s incessant, hermaphroditic Jewess hectoring that he just can’t put it together no more. Anyways, enough of this shit. I’ve got Mick Jagger ball gagged in the basement. I’m gonna go shove a pool cue up his ass or something.

  22. hmmm... says:

    the meth pictures made me laugh soooo hard

  23. Dk says:

    Ah, So sonny b, the krs one column last week was no good? Ahhhh, wrong- it may have been the best of ALL time.

    Man, it’s just like someone else said- one thing EVERY bn post has in common is it always has some whiteboy commenter crying “bn jumped the shark!”

  24. ... says:

    Two hundred bucks says “Dk” is a “whiteboy.”

  25. Ty says:

    @ Sonny B.

    I’ve seen Blognigger in panties and it’s actually pretty fuckin’ hot.

    And yes, he’s seen me in panties too. So homo, rite?

  26. fuck haute couture aka hater bo-baiter says:

    i thought this post was rad, I am now a blognigger fan, cos laughing at methheads is way funny and anyone who doesn’t think so has obviously never met/been one. the lady up top is the best cos at first it looks like its not the same chick, then you notice that in the before picture she has just had her ass beat and has a totally swollen-up face. hahahahaha fucking tweekers, she probably just tried to steal someone’s VCR or something

    come on lame$$a quit referencing yourself while posting as totally unfunny or sonny b, no one actually gives enough of a shit about you to even talk about you, except me. ps it gives it away when you link youngstown shit, hello no one else has even ever fucking heard of that place.

    boring.

  27. Cable guy says:

    Doctor Zizmor ftmfw

  28. Deadbeatmanchief says:

    BN’s Twitter is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

  29. Vane$$a says:

    Wow. There you go again, blowing the lid on my phoniness that I errantly think is so well concealed. Thank you for setting me straight once again. Maybe some day I can be as cool as Carlos Mencia.

  30. CARLOS MENCIA says:

    Did someone say my name…No? Oh well.

  31. Ol' Dirty Bosnian says:

    I used to work for OPIRG. It helps get laid.

  32. don key says:

    In order from top to bottom:

    Laura Silverman
    Paul Willeaux
    Jerri blank
    Susan Sarandon
    Paul Willeaux
    the guy from fatal farm

  33. cable guy says:

    @don keyleone

    not bad!!

  34. VAL HALEN says:

    BLOGBYNIGLET I LUV U

    Me & you & yo wife in a love triangle… makin’ love to you in all angles

    hahaha yo i should be a writer for Street Carnage am i right?


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