The little known “Idle Hands” movement of 1995 was a hopeful and seemingly brilliant solution to many of societies woes. The “Idle Hands” movement was hoping to ensure that without hands, people with once idle hands “the devil’s playground” would be forced to focus on more important issues at hand (no pun intended) such as thinking or walking.
The little known “Idle Hands” movement of 1995 was a hopeful and seemingly brilliant solution to many of societies woes. The movement was hoping to ensure that without hands, people with once idle hands “the devil’s playground” would be forced to focus on more important issues at hand such as thinking or walking.
The “Idle Hands” movement also hoped that the lack of hands would ensure that the glove and hand cream conglomerates, whose money often went toward diamond mines in Africa, would become bankrupt. In fact people who purchased diamonds would have no way of picking them up and more importantly have zero fingers to place hem on. Eventually, the movement hoped, this would level the “have” and “have not” playing field in terms of the exhibition of wealth. The theory was that hands enabled the driving of expensive automobiles and the donning of expensive rings, gloves or bracelets. Without hands, the movement also pointed out, there would be no room for finger pointing, gun control debates, nose-picking or giving “the finger” (the leading catalyst for over 87% of violent crimes throughout the western world).
However, drawbacks were also obvious and abundant. For example, the inability to type or play guitar (this was a richly grunge-infused time) would seriously disfigure the means necessary to spread the doctrine of a “no hands” solution. Rumors had it that a keyboard designed for elbows was in the works but the “Idle Hands” act of 1995 soon found its end at the hands of the “American Idol Hands Act” of 2002, which made the appreciation of hands an irreversible reality.
These stickers are all that remain of those brave and optimistic times.
“diamond minds”
Not to be confused with the “Idle Hands” movement of 1999 which unsuccessfully tried to create a film career for Seth Green outside of the Austin Powers movies.
Who needs fingers to play grunge?
AHHH. FUNNY SHIT.