READER SUBMITTED CONTENT Next weekend, this year’s Scion Rock Festival will be in my hometown, Columbus, OH. Since tickets are free and bands like Shrinebuilder, Cannibal Corpse, Pelican and YOB will be playing this year, it’s obvious that Columbus will shortly be flooded with crusty metalheads and clean metalhipsters from across America and Canada. Here’s an introduction to Columbus for you readers that may be in attendance:
Next weekend, this year’s Scion Rock Festival will be in my hometown, Columbus, OH. Since tickets are free and bands like Shrinebuilder, Cannibal Corpse, Pelican and YOB will be playing this year, it’s obvious that Columbus will shortly be flooded with crusty metalheads and clean metalhipsters from across America and Canada. Here’s an introduction to Columbus for you readers that may be in attendance:
Let’s start with the clubs that attendees will be seeing:
SKULLY’S (1151 North High Street) AND CIRCUS (1227 North High Street)
Both of these clubs are owned by the same people, and as such share similar design aesthetics, something along the lines of what would happen if you let the cast from The Jersey Shore decorate. Drinks can get pricey at both places, but this is Columbus pricey, so if you’re coming from NY or LA, you’ll be pleased at the cheap selection. Circus offers cheap PBR in 24oz cans, so at least you can get trashed real quick and easy if the decor starts melting your eyeballs.
THE NEWPORT (1722 North High Street)
Every city of decent size usually has a venue like this: a theater built decades ago, perfect for those mid-sized acts popular enough to draw a couple thousand but not yet at the level of arena tours (e.g. BRMC, Mastodon, Alkaline Trio, etc.). They’ll be overcharging for those big plastic cups filled with warm beer, but at least the bands will sound loud as shit with the venue’s massive PA system.
BERNIE’S (1896 North High Street)
Even if you have never been here, you already know the place. It’s that shithole basement venue that always smells vaguely of piss and sweat, where band stickers coat every surface and the liquor is cheap and plentiful. This place was the spot to be around half a decade ago, when Columbus’ old hardcore scene was still in full effect and their regular hip hop nights were the place to catch rising talent. Now they mostly cater to a clientele of former drug addicts, gutter punks and wannabe punk trash who are unaware that Black Flag released records after Damaged.
Other places to know in Columbus:
HOUNDDOG’S PIZZA (2657 North High Street (614) 261-4686)
Open 24 hours a day, this place will provide you with all the big, hot, greasy, garlic-crust pizza you desire. They offer delivery but if it’s late and you still want to get wasted, Hounddog’s is attached to the Ravari Room, a fine bar with fine bartenders.
THE BLUE DANUBE (2439 North High Street)
This place offers a wide range of strange bar food, from breakfast burritos to fried zucchini. Their burgers are pretty great when topped with a fried egg and mushrooms, or guacamole and bacon. Open until 2:30 a.m., they also usually have a half-decent drink special at the bar.
CAFE BOURBON STREET / EXTREME WEINERS (2216 Summit Street (614) 906-DOGS)
Bourbon Street is the bar that has served as a locus of sorts for the shitgaze/lofi/garage/whatever music in Columbus. This is where Times New Viking and Psychedelic Horseshit go to drink, so if you’re an indie nerd, I suppose that might interest you. Otherwise, you’re probably only interested in Extreme Weiners, which is an amazing hot dog joint located inside the bar. They deliver until 1 a.m. and offer a wide array of awesome pork and veggie goodness. Goad as my witness, I’ve never tasted better coleslaw. When you’re high and starving, their eponymous hot dog is like heaven.
BODEGA / LATE NIGHT PIZZA (1044 North High Street)
Despite being only a block South of Skully’s, I really don’t think too many Hessians will enjoy this place. If you’re one of those metalhipsters who enjoys fancy / expensive beer and liquor and you want to try to get some rich-girl tail in town, then this bar is right up your alley. What is really worth mentioning is the weird little pizza joint located just past Bodega in a parking lot. Late Night Pizza is an awesome little shack where you can easily satisfy any evening food cravings with a cheap slice.
CARABAR (115 Parsons Avenue)
This is one of the nicest bars in town with some of the best food. Their falafel tacos are on a level you must experience. It’s a little bit out of the way, but is definitely worth the trip if you’re in a metal band. The owner loves metal and loves drinking with metal bands until the sun rises. If you’re in a touring band that wants to be fed and paid, Carabar is always the best bet.
JOHNNY GO’S HOUSE O’ MUSIC (1900 North High Street)
USED KIDS (1980 North High Street)
MAGNOLIA THUNDERPUSSY (1155 North High Street)
LOST WEEKEND (2960 North High Street)
All of these places are to hunt for vinyl on your way out of town. Used Kids is the best place to pick up a cheap CD to play on the road trip home. Lost Weekend is the one most likely to make vinyl record geeks cream their pants.
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I know some of you will wonder why Columbus would be such a great place to host a festival — trust me, this city is not nearly as bad as it seems. We’ve been left to our own devices here for so long that the local scene has produced a wide variety of acts that one wouldn’t expect in such a culturally-isolated city. Some of our best metal bands will be featured in the festival, namely Deadsea and Struck By Lightning. But also feel free to check out some of our other weird, harsh and heavy bands: Sword Heaven, The Unholy Two, 1point3, Brainbow, Necropolis, Vile Gash, Deerhead, MF Gnar, Churches Burn (my band), Bridesmaid, Hugs and Kisses (aka NiggerLover), Tank Destroyer, Locusta, Rage Against The Cage, Twink Bully, Night Soil, Biff Boff Barf.
Enjoy your time in Columbus. You might think it gets boring here, but we’ve learned to make our own fun. There’s enough shows, gallery openings and other assorted strange gatherings to maintain quite a happy local scene of freaks.
-BRIAN WM. CARNAHAN
P.S. As a side note to any women who are visiting from other cities: Consider moving here; a 7 in New York City is a 9 or 10 in Columbus.
Send “Open Mics” to SBTVC@StreetCarnage.com
If you can’t get laid in Columbus you can’t get laid anywhere.
had a blast in columbus at a show down by the river. biff boff barf was awesome and stupid.
Columbus is the town where its most beloved citizen, “Coach Tressel,” is known for choking out insightful moral gems like: “Nothing good ever happens after 10 o’clock.”
I once knew a woman who drove from Brookline mass to Ohio in order to get laid. at that college. I can’t remember what it’s called but it sounded like Caligula university. It’s artsy and pricey. Oberlin?
pelican FUCKING RO0LZ UR FACE OFF U FGGTS!!!!!
Anybody remember the incense guy (“one dolla, one dolla”)???? I lived in Columbus for about five years and during the last year I noticed he was missing from his usual spot in front of McDonald’s by Used Kids. I move to San Francisco, and a couple months later, guess who I run into, on Haight and Ashbury? It was cool at first but then became awkward since every time I saw him he acted like I’m supposed to give him money or buy his overpriced incense, for the sake of our “friendship.” He did smoke me out once or twice though.
double dippin’
http://www.buddyhead.com/putting-the-hi-in-ohio/
@lester
antioch?
visit us at weedsteeler.com and weedsteelertellem.com for all your columbus hot spots and tru satanic events.
I lived in Columbus for 3 years (that was plenty). Definitely remember the incense guy, the Dube, Goth night at Skully’s, Sunday nights at Bernie’s (hip-hop night), and spending way too much time and money (from my school loans) at Larry’s (RIP). I also enjoyed events at the Wexner and that video store that had all kinds of obscure shit and and was open 24 hours.
Thom Lessner and O’Dell are from here, so it can’t be bad. At all.
Vane$$A- I don’t know but she seemed to indicate that they had unisex SHOWERS!! maybe I heard that wrong. and a wicker basket thing full of condoms. holy shit I should find her and ask her.
vane$$A- no I’m all for it
That would likely be Antioch in Yellow Springs. Dave Chappelle used to spend his summers there visiting his father, a prof at the college. I’m not kidding.