I noticed some depressed, dorky, unconstructive, humiliated teenagers sending in e-mails and I think it would be fitting to have a depressed, dorky, unconstructive, humiliated teenager write for the site.
I noticed some depressed, dorky, unconstructive, humiliated teenagers sending in e-mails and I think it would be fitting to have a depressed, dorky, unconstructive, humiliated teenager write for the site.
I think this is the first time that the fact that I was the girl who dreamed of being an actress but got so nervous she peed in her pants during the play but still attended all her classes unchanged and then locked herself in the closet for seven hours forming heart-shaped scars with lit cigarettes could add to something. People could send questions in to me, because, honestly, we don’t relate to popular, slutty, recovered cocaine-addicts. When I read advice from people like that, I felt even more isolated.
I’m actually still unsure of what I could do with the whole “supporting depressed teens” thing, but I do know that I want to write some shit about Thailand before I leave here (that’s why I’m sending this before fucking making up my mind). I could do an honest critique of the prostitution trade here (dude, the most expensive ones aren’t even attractive), write about the blacks that I think come from West Africa who hang around in Nana station (they’re NEVER covered…. except they ganged up on me after I took a photo of the area and accused me of being a spy… and threatened to kill me), talk about how fucking disappointing the “ping pong sex” shows are….. whoa, this place is a hell hole. Anyhow, what I have in mind for my first effort is an article on the skin-whitening products here. Shut up, they do crazy crap for white flesh and I want to make a point about how stupid caring about your skin tone is. Plus, the “ping pong sex” shows are like 20 bucks. That’s a lot here. That’s about how much cash those black dudes would sell my kidneys for.
I could also help you get Street Boners photos from around here. Would this attached one work?
Seriously, I’m cool with literally being paid in peanuts. And I’m allergic to peanuts.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
(because you kids even publish Goad’s e-mails without permission and I have to be clandestine in case I pursue a career in politics. What just killed my chances of ever being hired here? Using the word “clandestine” or the fact that I’m in poli sci?)
PS: Super good call on Drew. She reminded me how much I want to at least attempt to work for this site.
I have a better sketch
So listen up, here is my pitch
You see, every week I will pitch a new segment
I mean it couldn’t be worse than this
Give her a shot. What could it hurt?
replace val please.
I think this chick should learn to write in coherent sentences first. Jesus christ what a rambling sack of shit.
yes that’s what i want an awkward white person’s take on an asian country. it’s so unique and daring
Fuckin’ A(sia).
i went to the Philippines when i was 12 & was dark as dried up shit in the sun because i spent every minute in my pool that summer. My relatives bought me skin whitening soap & lotion so i could become “pretty” again. Racist ass motherfuckin’ honkey lovers. Asians just hate the dark skinned’ed people.
Also, what the fuck is up with the strangest infomercials from Japan? Have you watched the foot massage that makes you piss out your fat? Have you seen the pills people take to make them grow a foot taller? My brother was poppin’ those pills for his little 5 foot ass like whoa. They didn’t work. He’s still short. (The skin whitening shit actually works though… i was forced to bathe in it every 3 hours)
& the cool thing about the Philippines is that there are NO car commercials because everyone is too fucking poor to buy one. However, they do love their hair product ads and game shows.
PS. Are you really an awkward white person living in the land of the slanty eye?
fuck this bitch, she’s so boring, and i doubt she really know how to “connect” to depressed teenagers
If she post pictures of her tits she stays.
And the tits are nice.
yes, please replace val
“holy fuck Says:
04.24.09 at 11:58 pm
fuck this bitch, she’s so boring, and i doubt she really know how to “connect” to depressed teenagers”
okaaaaaaayy then.
Can I Write for you? AMIRITE 4 U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
leetspeak is played