By now I’m sure you’ve heard that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. That shit is all over the news, topping Trending Topics on Twitter, and I’m fairly certain that Harlem has exploded into an enormous block party.
By now I’m sure you’ve heard that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. That shit is all over the news, topping Trending Topics on Twitter, and I’m fairly certain that Harlem has exploded into an enormous block party. While the talking heads on the right cry and the faeries on the left swoon, all I can think is: “Wait, what?”
Even the Obama-worshipping / Palin-bashing SNL can’t help but make fun of how little the guy has achieved. “The Honeymoon is over” as CNN declared. And a “Peace Prize”?! Didn’t he just start a whole new war in Afghanistan? We’ve got more guys over there than Bush’s wildest dreams and we’re awarding peace prizes? What? The? Fuck?
The Nobel Committee claims it awarded Obama the prize for two bullshit reasons:
1. His “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”
What? True, dude gave a couple of speeches in a couple of different countries, but is that how low the bar is? I thought your speeches had to actually change something in order to win the prize. I guess Nelson Mandela mostly just gave a fuck ton of speeches, but those actually helped end apartheid. And all Jimmy Carter did was basically talk to people who hated each other, but he had to do that shit for DECADES before anyone gave a fuck enough to give him a prize for it. Obama’s been in office for less than a year and yeah, he’s given a couple of speeches that haven’t done shit? Maybe the Middle East hates us a little less, and Europeans definitely think we’re cool again, but the world isn’t anymore peaceful than it was a year ago, and isn’t that supposed to be the point of the award?
2. His efforts to rid the world of nukes
This is such bullshit. Iran is working on a nuke RIGHT NOW, and who the fuck knows what North Korea is doing. All Obama did was, again, give a couple of speeches about this. Sure, Russia’s agreed to reduce the amount of warheads it has and so will we, but that’s actually an illusion; only reason both countries are agreeing to reduce the size of their arsenals is because they’ve developed the technology to make more powerful bombs. It’s easy to throw away 200 nukes when you just figured out how to make a new bomb that’s as strong as 200 nukes. Again, Obama hasn’t done much.
So the Committee’s “reasons” aside, I can only think of two actual reasons why they made this decision:
1. Europeans love the black dick
I thought it was petty that the right was mocking Obama for being a superstar and all during the elections, but it turns out they were right. I hope this crosses the color boundary so that all Americans who travel to Europe will get laid more.
2. Europeans really, really fucking hate George Bush
The most telling quote from the Nobel Committee was their praise of Obama for creating “a new international climate,” which simply boils down to him not being a prick like Bush. Now, I didn’t like Bush. He was stupid and whatever, but giving someone a prize for NOT BEING HIM? Now that’s hate.
If Obama is worth even a grain of his own salt, he is totally embarrassed by this patronizing affirmative action and hoping against hope Fred Armisen never hears about it.
R.I.P. Norman Borlaug. Thank God you’re not around to see this.
yeah no shit. i love obama but gotdamnitt i wish he wasnt so fucking likeable. everybody is seriously dick riding this fucker. I just dont want ever see him again. let the guy fucking get to work.
I went to ICP on friday and smoked a fat joint with like 10 Juggalos. Is that Nobel Peace Prize worthy?
^^^^^ YES!
Nice Arv, I’m stumped too. Who were the other ‘nominees’? Anyone know?
ARV!! Check your news channel!!
They’re giving me one too! That means VIP forever!!
yeah, yeah, obama is liked globally so we’ve gotta dislike him. I get it. He probably didn’t deserve it, but like Mike E said, who did?
mike jackson won the noble rest in peace prize, nobody complained about that.
what about the russian journalists working to expose human rights abuses in chechnya that were eventually assassinated by putin. left or right this is pretty much bullshit.
Naw B, Obama’s one of the best foreign policy presidents ever, and it hasn’t even been a year. Things are still fucked up domestically sure, and on that I start to wonder about the guy, but that ain’t got shit to do with the peace prize. He’s a diplomat extraordinaire. I love how you trivialize the no nukes effort like you know what’s up “who the fuck knows what North Korea is doing”, well Kim says he’s open to discussion about disarmament plus China, Japan, and South Korea are up his ass about getting on board. I’m fed up with this contrarian bullshit, I’m happy with my president, I support him for once in my goddamned youth, I’m critical but cautiously optimistic, he earned that from me, give the nigga a prize.
Isn’t anyone happy that Obama won just to stick it to the Jewish dudes who are all smug about having the most Nobel winners?
It was, in fact, pretty slim pickings choosing this year’s nobel lauriets. Seriously, it was against Obama and…uh…Ahmadinejad. Nobody gives a fuck about peace anymore.
The only cool . fun thing about this website are the street boners … its fun to people watch, fashion is elusive (its nice someone takes the time to take photos of someone else’s ideas.)
Reading the articles on this site is a chore, its like listening to the dandruff fall from Mozart’s head and trying to imagine its funny or interesting, even in anti-art sense.
Give up writing articles, no one cares … and the few people who do you probably shouldn’t care about.
“Nobody gives a fuck about peace anymore”…
Truer words have never been said.
By the way^^^ reading the articles is a chore? And yet you care enough to comment on them?
he was stupid and whatever
Pudge: “Naw B, Obama’s one of the best foreign policy presidents ever” this is truly one of the most shocking things i have ever read. just fully confirms that people want this guy to be president because he is black, are completely ignorant, and listen to words like “hope” and “change” and think it actually transfers to policy and action. Iraq is still going on. Afghanistan has gotten worse. Massive new army base in columbia. War propaganda against Iran. complete disregard of pakistani sovereignty. how the fuck can you say his foreign policy is “one of the best ever” when it is nothing more than a direct continuation of bush? what the fuck is so different about it?
“oh well man, he engages the world community and gives speeches about hope and solidarity” if you really believe that shit, a lobotomy might actually do you some good.
Want to learn more?
http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/10/09/obama/
Remember when Gore got one for making a fucking movie, which he subsequently got rich off b/c he mandated its use in schools across the country (he basically said “Show the kids this or you are irresponsible and uneducated and not fit to live”)
If they want to give Obama one for his big cock, who gives a shit? Y’all better enjoy this American ass-kissing while it lasts, b/c we aren’t long for the top.
Who’s Joe Biden?
OMFG Nigger Jesus!
he didn’t start a war in afghanistan, we were already there numbnuts. and you think we should just pull out? that’s what she said.
Dear, Arv
You’re a fucking idiot. Kill yourself.
Sincerely,
White Power
i agree its so fawning and i have a hunch he is embarrassed. i voted for him, but i never thought his ass would be so totally worshipped. he is a POLITICIAN. since when do they rule so goddamn much. so queer it makes me blush.
please make your website funny. that’s when it’s worth reading. embarrassingly naive and troll-y posts like this are boring. also, is this what it takes to suck up to gavin now?
i don’t like arv’s writing. even though i understand why you hired him. sorry arv – i guess you are a really good kisser though or have amazing sideburns
fuck all this white liberal guilt. euro trash
maybe finally everyone can take a breather from kisssing his butt. its handled earth!
Didn’t read it.
Note to self: Escalate the war in Afghanistan, win Nobel Peace Prize. Golly. Obama’s teachings never end.
OTOH, the nobel committee is the same bitches that gave HENRY KISSINGER a nobel peace prize, i think it was because shit is more peaceful after you burn down your enemies’ villages and mutate their children with agent orange. I think they out of they damn minds giving BHO the prize at this point but their track record is spotty at best.
but it IS easier to get laid right now as an american abroad, the euro girls are less eager to give you dick-shriveling lectures about iraq. that definitely deserves a prize.
Razor sharp political analysis. That is the reason I come to Street Carnage.
Arv you’re like 15 you dont even understand the word “senate”
Norwegians give the prize and Norwegians are SOCIALISTS!!!!!!
Enjoy your democracy while you can folks.
Gavin lite?
Gavin can’t write this kind of shit anymore cuz he’ll upset his sponsor. TIVAS FOR LIFE!!!
I’m tired of Sticks bending over so we can all take it in the ass. Bring back Bush.
edgy
But he neglected to win the Nobel prize in economics.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/obama-fails-to-win-nobel-prize-in-economics-2009-10-12