[...] That’s right, the most amazing thing about this guy has nothing to do with his Louis Vuitton soccer ball or his million dollar watch that says “Number One” in diamonds. It’s not related to his muscle-encrusted body and his strangley-botoxed face. No. The most amazing thing about Number One (as he insists on being called) is how incredibly insecure he is. Once your eyes get a taste of him they will never stop thirsting for more. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night thinking about him and you’ll have no idea why. Maybe it’s because he acts like an alien who just landed here and is petrified of someone blowing his cover. Name-dropping near celebrities like Missy Elliot and LL Cool J (what?) and awkwardly explaining why there’s no women around him makes you wonder if he weighed 300 lbs last week and has no idea how to pull off the rich and sexy stud persona he rammed down his own throat. See for yourself but be warned: like moshing and a lot of things that are bad for you, Scott Alexander is addicting. [...]
She doesn’t even say ‘addictive’ – she says ‘addicting’. She can’t even get old-people speak right. What a douche.
[...] That’s right, the most amazing thing about this guy has nothing to do with his Louis Vuitton soccer ball or his million dollar watch that says “Number One” in diamonds. It’s not related to his muscle-encrusted body and his strangley-botoxed face. No. The most amazing thing about Number One (as he insists on being called) is how incredibly insecure he is. Once your eyes get a taste of him they will never stop thirsting for more. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night thinking about him and you’ll have no idea why. Maybe it’s because he acts like an alien who just landed here and is petrified of someone blowing his cover. Name-dropping near celebrities like Missy Elliot and LL Cool J (what?) and awkwardly explaining why there’s no women around him makes you wonder if he weighed 300 lbs last week and has no idea how to pull off the rich and sexy stud persona he rammed down his own throat. See for yourself but be warned: like moshing and a lot of things that are bad for you, Scott Alexander is addicting. [...]