The reason foreign cultures exist is so that we can learn from them.

The reason foreign cultures exist is so that we can learn from them. Think about how boring things would be if we all did everything the same. In today’s Global Village if you’ve got a problem, odds are your neighbor has a solution to offer. That said, here are three news stories about things we can learn from our international brethren.

HOW TO REQUEST AN ENCORE (MEXICO)

We’ve all been there: You pay good money for your ticket, show up early to the venue, fight through a sweaty crowd reeking of B.O. to get close to the stage and then suddenly, right as you’re getting into it, the show’s over and you haven’t even finished your last drink.

There’s nothing worse than having a band pull the plug on the party just as you’re hitting your drunken plateau. Perfect time for an encore, right? Well sure. But what if the band doesn’t care to comply?

In Mexico they have a solution for this problem. Observe the following strategy used by a group of Mexican concert goers attending a show by local band La Excelencia. I’ve gently highlighted the most crucial detail of the story, just in case you happened to miss it while skimming through.

From New York Daily News:

When La Excelencia’s performance came to an end around 4 a.m. local time, four reportedly intoxicated and aggressive audience members demanded the musicians continue playing. Sensing trouble, the group extended its set by two songs, but was eventually forced to pull the plug by the bar’s owner, according to El Occidental…. Out of nowhere, one of the instigators threw a grenade at the stage. The explosion injured one person and had panicked customers running for the exits…. Jonathan Martinez, 22, and Gustavo Alejandro, 35, were pronounced dead outside the Vida Divina nightclub…. Martinez and Alejandro were among those who fled the bar, but they were met at the front door by a hail of bullets, presumably from the same four men who had harassed them earlier.

And no Mexican band has even considered shorting the encore ever since. Sounds to me like the concert goers are winning in Mexico.
—

HOW TO UNCOVER CRIMINAL ACTIVITY (BRAZIL)

There are so many unreported crimes happening right now in your city that if you knew about half of them, you’d never want to leave your house again. What’s worse: How are the police ever supposed to solve these crimes if they don’t even know they’re happening?!

Right now there’s a body slowly dissolving in a bathtub somewhere in Hell’s Kitchen and the former owner of that body is screaming for justice from beyond the grave. How do we make things right? How do we uncover these criminal activities?

Enter Brazilian Wallace Souza.

A politician turned TV show host, Souza reasoned that there’s a simple way to know about what criminal activity is going on in the city: Be the one committing the crimes.

From The Huffington Post:

In one murder after another, the “Canal Livre” crime TV show had an uncanny knack for being first on the scene, gathering graphic footage of the victim.

Too uncanny, say police, who are investigating the show’s host, state legislator Wallace Souza, on suspicion of commissioning at least five of the murders to boost his ratings and prove his claim that Brazil’s Amazon region is awash in violent crime. Police also have accused Souza of drug trafficking.

“The order to execute always came from the legislator and his son, who then alerted the TV crews to get to the scene before the police,” state police intelligence chief Thomaz Vasconcelos charged in an interview with The Associated Press.

Sadly Souza died of a heart attack before he could stand trial. Whether or not he had his son pre-arrange Canal Livre coverage of his passing is unknown.
—

HOW TO CURE AIDS (NIGERIA)

If you don’t have Magic Johnson’s Illuminati connexs and you have the HIV, I’m not gonna lie: Shit is grim. In today’s world you can live with AIDS, but no one’s even pretending that there’s a cure on the horizon anymore. Not so in Nigeria! They continue to search for a cure for HIV –- mostly in the vaginas of 3-year-olds.

From AllAfrica:

In a bid to seek cure for his HIV status, a 36-year-old man, Cletus Agwu has been allegedly misled by a witch doctor in Makurdi to rape a three-year-old girl (names withheld) who has also been infected with the virus…. Cletus, who claimed he lived in the same compound with the victim’s parents, told the Police that he was HIV positive but acted on the advice of a witch doctor where he was seeking cure for his ailment, who urged him to have sex with a girl of not more than three years in order to get permanent cure for his disease.

He further confessed that it was his desperation for cure and his ‘doctor’s’ insistence that led him into committing the dastardly act with the little daughter of his co-tenant.

I guess the “alternative medicines” craze has gone global. Personally I’ve always been a skeptic.

Enjoy your weekend, faggots.

-THE FOOL
@SuffertheFool

Related posts:

1. CURRENT: I HEART GLOBAL WARMING
2. STREET CARNAGE ON EAST VILLAGE RADIO TODAY
3. STREET CARNAGE ON EAST VILLAGE RADIO – W LINK!
4. CANADIANS ARE SO CHEAP