Who decided LA was such a wondrous place? You can’t get around because it’s so spread out, public transportation sucks, and traffic is a complete hassle.
Who decided LA was such a wondrous place? You can’t get around because it’s so spread out, public transportation sucks, and traffic is a complete hassle. Even worse, the drinks aren’t cheap, and neither is the food. On the flip side, Skid Row was cool, I missed out on the beach, and I didn’t have a competent guide to the city. So I can’t say it was all bad.
Hollywood had a dull beauty to it. Some lights, some action, a few characters to share a laugh with, a really cool costume store, but that’s about it. Prancing around looking to get my dick hard by sighting a celebrity really has no appeal to me. Maybe my trip was a sham though, maybe I didn’t get a good enough look. I’m sure I’ll hear all about it in the comments.
Skid Row is literally feet from downtown LA. You’ll find these little balloons all over the street. It looks like a parade had gone through, but nope, just a lot of heroin wrappers. The good news is, if you picked up and scrapped clean each bag on just one block you could probably start your own drug cartel.
Hollywood Boulevard is full of costumed characters looking to hustle a quarter out of you. They expect to be paid for a photo, but I wasn’t paid to take it, so I figured it’s an even trade.
Law and Order or something was filming here. I couldn’t get over the Cali’ plates on the NYPD truck. It made my stomach sick and my rage boil.
“Antiques * Art * Smut!” — What the fuck?
My friend drove me down to Frog Town. Apparently, it’s a bit hood. In the playground they had this giant snake. Seems like a weird thing for a child to play on, but I guess a tough town needs tough kids.
Graffiti, it’s all the rage.
coming up next: my travel pics from my weekend in Seattle!
Don’t say Cali, it’s super gay. Ask anyone who’s from California. Also, hanging out on Hollywood Boulevard is the equivalent of chilling in Times Square. And finally, Elysian Valley? I suggest a do-over. Venice is awesome. Your article is essentially a cliche.
I’m just a little confused as to why they chose to run this. Hey guys, I have a wicked blog post about how I cleaned my apartment today and cooked some soup, can I be a writer for SC too?
I can’t hate on this post. It’s a great excuse for wondering how Baba Yaga’s head got grafted onto Pocahontas’ body.
^^ Sorry, but ELP sucks
so this whole article was only good for half a streetboner from a total dickhead. this trip must have sucked. you should have gone to les duex. ive seen that place on the hills.
loved this blog post!
great job on the hard work! did you get down to disneyland?
YOU FUCKING FAIL!
This isn’t even funny in a Kaufman kind of way.
… anyways, thanks for the bum butt crack.
You answered your own query in the first paragraph; you didn’t have a competent guide. Because traffic and public transportation suck in LA, you really have to know where the gems are. I live in Oakland now, and people love to hate for no good reason. I’ve taken a few people on road trips to LA that were previously haters, shown ‘em the good aspects, and then they’re like, “Hey, this place is pretty cool!” Yeah, Hollywood Boulevard sucks…tourist.
there’s almost always nothing left in the balloon once you’ve shaken the horse out.
foods expensive in L.A.? pshhhaw, u need to go to fucking Del Taco. 47 cent tacos!!! Or the like 5,000 salvadoran restaurants. u can’t get pupusas on the east coast and that is a crying shame. Also, i agree, this article sucked. cept for the ac/dc taggin.
This is almost as shitty as the blog post I just did on Atlanta.
Are you a fucking troll? My spider sense also detects some samefaggotry in this thread.
LA = cheapest most delicious Mexican and Oaxacan food outside of South America. Fish tacos for $1.50 all over the fucking place. There’s a roach coach near my apt that sells 4 tacos and a bottled coke for $5.00.
Silver Lake, Los Feliz, Echo Park, Franklin Village, East Hollywood, Highland Park = cheap rent, awesome fucking bars/clubs, rad parks, mad sex, awesome galleries, brutal music scene etc. Why the fuck did your friend take you to Elysian Park/Frogtown? The only thing good there is the Frogtown Artwalk which happens once a year.
I have a huge one bedroom with my own office I use for editing and a parking spot for $1195 a month. It’s also in one of the best neighborhoods in Hollywood.
Public transit is rad in LA considering how huge it is. Ever heard of the metro train? It’s more efficient and goes more places than the shit muni train in San Francisco, and San Franciscans love to brag about their public transit. I know because I lived there for 10 years. I have a shit ton of friends that don’t own a car and bike all over LA.
Our parks are bigger than any other major city in the nation.
Every tv show and movie you watch and like is made by people who live in LA or come to LA to finish their movies and shows. You like Arrested Development? The Office? Metalocalypse?
The fucking Cramps lived here for christ sake.
Come back, I want to hear your response faggot.
tl;dr
I think you’re pretty spot on about LA and I’ve been everywhere there is to go there. The video is awesome.
Haha, Danielle = samefag
L.A. rules on it’s inclusion in Cali(fornia) alone. The weed is fucking legal, dickrags.
You fucked up and forgot to take pics of good graffiti. whoops.
There is no such thing as good graffiti didn’t you read Gavin’s post
yes clayton how great a city is, is entirely dependent on the legality of weed. moron
Thanks for letting me know you hit up LA…
Your articles get funny reactions from people. They’re either from the girl who wants to suck your dick or the guy who has to make fun of you, so his dick feels bigger. Good work.
wah, LA sucks, waaaah, waaaaah. try living here (and not being a narrow minded outsider here ONLY to have dinner with dov charney or whatever the reason gavin used to come out here and rag on us) LA can be a fun raging party every night if you stop whining about unimportant shit. don’t just drive down hollywood blvd and the shitty areas of LA and post “whelp, I guess this is everything, fuck LA” because you weren’t invited to the cool shit. fucking loser.
everyone hates you so much
I really hope you went to the “Art Antique Smut” sale. I really do.
go ahead and eat it
Another thing nobody mentions about LA is the rad nature that surrounds it (as long as it’s not burning). The San Gabriels, Santa Monica Mountains, Joshua Tree, and the Channel Islands. The Channel Islands have some of the best diving in the world, just bring a wetsuit because the water is frigid.
I actually did get invited to some parties, and I wasn’t thrilled. The alcohol was expensive, and everyone just seemed to want to talk about how awesome they were or how I shouldn’t act so outlandish in LA because the people there are “hard.” The food was expensive because I don’t center my diet around fish tacos and other crap created in food carts. While this may blow your mind some people actually like to eat a varied diet, crazy I know. Also, your above a grand a month apartment isn’t a steal, try the North West. For that cost you could be paying a mortgage. Also, upon further review I regret not seeing Santa Monica, and the whole ritzy side of that world. But LA is a spread out town with half assed scenery surrounding it. You can’t say the mountains and parks are beautiful until you’ve visited the rockies, the cascades, or central Canada. So before becoming so ungodly defensive just feel bad for me that I didn’t get to experience LA the way you apparently do. Invite me back, show me around, blow my mind, or try writing your own review.
cheers,
the author of this post
Geez, LA, chill out and refill your valium prescription so we can share some and lounge in the pool. We don’t just like you because you have a swimming pool and your sister has perfect tits that we’re pretty sure she let’s us peek at from the corner of our Wayfarers, like. Right. Now. Where’s that party at tonight? Will Clay be there I haven’t seen him since he went to Camden. I heard he’s been acting weird lately and someone said Julian is on heroin now? His tan still looks good so I don’t know. Man I hate my parents…..snooze.
come on LA someone ask him back it sounds like he had a better time in SLC when he was here this weekend
High-five, Nick!
i like living in california because people from the east coast are really far away.
well nick, yeah, I feel bad that you didn’t get to hang out with real people here because there certainly are a lot (I do agree that the assholes outnumber the good people, and this is unfortunate. also, it does require some time, you can’t just hit a bar on the sunset strip and get butt hurt because some douche in a popped collar smoked a cigar that smelled like musty cocks, that’s not EVERYONE here dude) but a city review.. I know when someone, especially an east coast person does one on LA it’s going to be “hollywood blvd is awful” and things like that, that while are certainly true as well, aren’t at the same time EVERYthing about this place. there is actually a lot of fun to be had, and a bunch of good food as well. I am defensive because you visit places that people like me find terrible about my city and then say “fuck LA and everyone in LA because I didn’t have a proper ambassador”. it’s not that black and white dude. just because you moved to new york from omaha last year doesn’t make it cool to say “fuck LA”. this is where my family and friends live, that’s a dick move cool guy. plus, it’s just old and boring.
but I digress, the lower east side is SO awesome these days, it’s kind of like a TGI fridays™ exploded all over a pile of bullshit. but at least the drinks are SOOO cheap, and 9 dollars for a pack of smokes?
dude.. if you like saxophones…
oh, and one time, I went to lansing michigan and there was this party that was totally lame, so.. I guess fuck all of the residents of lansing michigan, their children, their pets, and their wildlife, fuck em, they should be exterminated… ALL OF THEM.
awesome!
I just moved to LA. Granted, I am a grad student which leaves me with no time or money, but this place is expensive and shitty. Still, it’s not as shitty as San Francisco, which looks and smells like a giant public toilet.
Homoh,
I’ve never been to Omaha, and while I’ve spent plenty of time in NYC, and enjoyed it, I am actually from the west coast and still call it home. Again, tell me when and where to be in LA and I’ll do my best to fall in love with the city of angels.
From the west coast? Where? San Francisco? Santa Cruz? San Jose? Humboldt? Fresno? Sausalito? Wine Country?
The Northwest is great and I love Portland/Seattle, but I’d prefer not to work in a coffee shop and deal with rain 10 months out of the year. On top of that, you get cheaper rent and mortgages but property tax is higher and people make less money on average. I work down here because I’m an animator and special effects artist, what the fuck do you do?
Also,
Cheap food? We have Thai food, Ethiopian food, Armenian food, Chinese food…I go to Birds in Hollywood and get a quarter chicken and lavash bread for $4.95. I go to a Peruvian restaurant in Van Nuys and get a half chicken for $6.00. I go to Tommy’s Burger and get a chili burger for 2 dollars, the same with In n Out. That sound expensive to you?
@ Homoh….I laughed my ass off when I read “if you like saxophones.” I wonder if Nick even gets that. Based on who he hung out with, it seems like he’s kind of a norm.
taeil should do an LA city review, that dude goes OFF!
Niggy Smallz…going to grad school? Let me guess…you live on the west side? amirite?
Calling it CALI is soooooooooooooo not done. I blame the Sopranos. Also its San Francisco, not “Frisco”
LA and Hollywood are homeless havens??
Try Oakland, Berkeley and SF. The cracky’s here knock on your door and ask for change. I blame the hippies.
I grew up in LA and the only thing that really sucks are the people from other states that move there. I actually prefer posts like these in hopes of deterring people from going there. The less people the better.
Some advice for out of staters:
-Always use the terms Cali, Frisco or San Fran. People will think you’re rad.
-You will totally become famous (actor/comedian/musician etc.) when you get here.
-Tell everyone you’re from New York and/or Boston and start fights with everyone.
-Talk about how there are too many Mexicans and be homesick for whatever it is you eat in NY, Pennsyltucky etc.
-Move away 2-5 years later and make sure and tell everyone this place is overrated.