I’d like to introduce you to Karl Welzein. Cap’n Karl. He calls himself @DadBoner, and he is the best thing on Twitter.
Don’t forget to read these from bottom to top. They’re tweets, dummy.
I’d like to introduce you to Karl Welzein. Cap’n Karl. He calls himself @DadBoner, and he is the best thing on Twitter. Karl lives in suburban Michigan, he’s middle-aged, recently separated from his wife Ann and living with his bachelor friend Dave. Karl’s having a bit of a midlife crisis. He’s a man torn between his love for his family, and his love for pizza and beer.
The amazing thing is, I think Karl is made up. Fake. A character. I think. But he feels real. Each tweet tells a story. DadBoner is a rich narrative of the existential crisis of the American middle-aged man. And it’s all on Twitter.
What blows my mind is the character development. Using subtle language and context clues, we’re given a startlingly intimate portrait of who Karl is. Even the list of feeds he follows tells a story. I’ve never seen the narrative format of Twitter used in such a brilliant way. It’s subtle. Non-obvious. Though it’s all told in the first person, I feel like I understand Karl as though he’s a character in a novel. His angst, fear, confusion… I feel like I know Karl. I’m rooting for him. You will too.
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I’ve got myself and others convinced it’s the work of tim heidecker or some other modern day funny-man, it’s just too good, you guys.
DadBoner Rules
wow
Makes me a little teary-eyed to think that it isn’t real.
Sometimes I think Homer Simpson is real.
I’d feel bad for Ken if he wasn’t fictional.
This is a kid’s idea of an adult.
just drove across country and visited family along the way
even if comedy, this is so accurate it’s spooky
life revolves around eating shit and then having gastro/bowel issues
this is America
also please be advised re http://twitter.com/soberwaldo
this is totally carles…totally…
@Hola Amigos
You are correct, sir. DadBoner is funny but fictional. As a husband/father/college grad/professional, I call bullshit on the veracity of his tweets. Also, what am I doing with my life?
I never thought this was real/I thought it was Matt braugner/He was hyping this shit hard when the account only had like 4 tweets
Hoping this guy is a guest on T&EASGJ (acronym’d on that ass, hoes!) sometime. He reeks of Cinco product
This has roused me from the prevailing torpor not one whit.
As in, zero wit.
In this way it’s appropriate that StreetBoners is humping with DadBoner.
Both are tired. halfmasted. stale.
His name is Karl Welzein, not Hess. Other than that, stellar article. Whether he’s real or not, he’s hilarious.
I want to see what Jack Balls thinks is funny.
I think this is my future……depressing.
sounds funny, but also a little bit of advertising for taco bell and probably mcdonalds and maybe every american fast food chain. I like fast food and fat, funny americans (some) #follow
Those tweets are garbage. There are some great tweeters out there and dadboner is just eh.
Ham Sandwich Jokes are funny. Also anything involving a duck. The one about the duck who comes into the bar every day and orders a ham sandwich. Then the guy from the circus hears about it–that one is really good!!Hooo hoo hooo!! That’s the funny shite right there, boy-o.
I wish I was as regular as nosey lady.
“my kids hate supreme. they’re stupid”
“why do tuesdays even exist”
*like*
snakebro by a mile.
http://twitter.com/#!/snakebro
Tim and eric aren’t even close to being this clever. What it reminds of a lot is the main character in “The Ask” by Sam Lipsyte, one of the like, 3 books I’ve read cover to cover in the past 10 years. Other than the fancy art school grad/ex- aspiring artist angle that character has, he is extremely similar to dadboner.
Oh my god, this is amazing. Whoever writes this is a genius. When he recalls a small event he mentioned in a tweet from a week earlier, I lose it completely. Karl is the most fleshed-out character I’ve ever seen on the internets. I started from the beginning and I’m about a quarter of the way through it all.
F**king pissed! Ever since reading this, several days ago, I keep finding myself wanting to rip off (aka recycle) a certain catch phrase, you guys!
I’ve been following @DadBoner religiously for several months now. Bear with me here — I’m seriously starting to think this is some sort of guerilla marketing experiment. Build a persona, then drop in various forms of product placement. You guys.
In response to the growing enthusiasm that is @dadboner. This site has popped up!