I promised earth I would get “I heard a retard say ‘cunt’ once” on my gravestone and I did it. The way you do it is you make a Last Will and Living Testament and you include a letter discussing your gravestone within that will. Then
I promised earth I would get “I heard a retard say ‘cunt’ once” on my gravestone and I did it. The way you do it is, you make a will and you include a letter discussing your gravestone within that will. Then you have it signed by a notary in front of a bunch of lawyers at the same firm (my redskin wife was so mortified by this, the epithet became literal). Easy peasy.
Now, it’s obviously going to be a hassle getting that on a gravestone but it’s up to the children to do the best they possibly can. If that has to be in Gaelic as one reader suggested, then so be it. Who knows, by the year 2070 they may be much more laid back about what goes on stones.
PS: For the record, I have never heard a mentally handicapped person say anything of the sort. My personal experience with retards is they are very clean-mouthed and religious. I just want my kids to stop crying when I die and realize that life’s short so you might as well have a laugh. Right?
i heard a retard say “first” once…
yes!
i love you.
Right!
Don’t make fun.
Dude come on now, you need to round up a volunteer who can meet the criteria. A corky thatcher type clearly stating mentioned phrase (along with anything else that may come to mind) then you can truly say you heard it and carry it with you till you take that ride into the sunset.
When I was in high school, my friends neighbor was this exact retard. He was like 35 and his parents lived there too. But that sum’a bitch would chase cars, run around his house naked and screaming. And I kid you not, he would yell whooooooo hooooooo TITS n CLITS while watching tit flix at 200 decibels with his window open. So let’s get down to fucking business.
amen.
let’s talk about me more.
I still say to go ahead and have it made now so that you can enjoy it while you are still alive.
That seems like a lot of effort for a joke that’s just slightly funny. Anyone who has ever walked through an old graveyard knows that the goofy-phrase-on-your-tombstone shtick is old.
my dad told me to piss on his grave when he dies.
Since its gonna say your name (3rd person), and the quote is in the first person, shouldn’t it be punctuated like this:
Gavin McInnes
“I heard a retard say ‘cunt’ once.”
instead of
Gavin McInnes
I heard a retard say “cunt” once.
Otherwise, its like the stonecarver heard a retard say “cunt” and decided to mention it on the headstone he was making.
I mean, if you’re gonna do it, do it right.
Go to Santos tonight and see drop the lime, kassiano and designer drugs ya’ll.
and if this is real its the funniest shit ever. Fat Jew worthy. You fucking MANIAC. love it.
CUNT
I liked it without the explanation in the last paragraph but with it, Gavin earns some more points in the “awesome dad” category.
Just don’t go fucking them up right before college when they choose to become something frowned upon like a corporate lawyer or some shit…
A Retard Named Cunt
sucks
Hmm… what you might end up reminding your kids is that yes, “life’s short so you might as well have a laugh”, but also that, although he tried very hard, sometimes Dad just wasnt very funny.
Your one has nothing on Spike Milligans “I told you I was ill”…
Wouldn’t it be funny if you changed your naughty school boy ways and became a born again philanthropist then suddenly was overcome by some horrendous incurable disease that left you in constant tormented agony, hooked up to tubes and machines and the very second before you died the thought of your gravestone clearly shone before you and your dying words muttered became “…oh, fuck.”
Why not just draw a cartoon of a retard saying “Cunt!” and have it put on your tombstone?
That’s not nice, guys. Hey guys! That’s not nice!
Seems like it would have much more impact if people just saw it after you died instead of telling people beforehand. Telling people before you’re dead seems like you’re trying to get a reaction. Which defeats the whole purpose of how great it is to have something retarded on your gravestone.
Just sayin.
[...] 12. Design your headstone: What does it say? What does it look like? Already made sure it says, “I heard a retard say ‘cunt’ once” http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/i-heard-a-retard-say-cunt-once-2/ [...]