Because it’s important to squeeze every possible dollar from both ends of the socioeconomic spectrum, the organizers of this year’s Coachella are now offering a layaway program for those who are overwhelmed by making an upfront financial commitment of $270 for a festival ticket.
Animal Collective fans excited about attending this year’s Coachella Festival on layaway
Because it’s important to squeeze every possible dollar from both ends of the socioeconomic spectrum, the organizers of this year’s Coachella are now offering a layaway program for those who are overwhelmed by making an upfront financial commitment of $270 for a festival ticket.
There are now a few options available to cash-strapped would-be festival-goers — the most reasonable being: “don’t go cause you can’t afford it.” But since that’ll never happen in this age of credit and re-financing, here’s an image capture from the official Coachella website describing how the layaway plan works:
Click to enlarge
I contacted an imaginary Goldenvoice representative to ask them about the unspecified “service charges” mentioned in the details of the layaway plan and they had the following to say:
“The service charges aren’t specified because they’re unreasonably high. The entire concept of layaway is exciting because it allows us to appear as though we care about allowing economically disadvantaged concert goers an opportunity to attend our festival — when in reality we actually end up charging them a lot more money for the same concert ticket everyone else pays $270 for. We here at Goldenvoice have a saying for this; we call it ‘wringing out the towel,’ wherein the customer is, metaphorically speaking, a towel.”
When asked about customers potentially defaulting on their festival ticket purchase, the representative became visibly animated as though intoxicated by joy:
“Well that’s the best case scenario! Anytime you can take any amount of money from someone in exchange for absolutely nothing without having to fraudulently pose as a charity for cancer or third world hunger — that is truly a special day! Above all else we’re just happy that we can continue the rich corporate tradition of exploiting minorities with these backhanded, pseudo-help initiatives.”
While you can “layaway” a festival ticket and camping pass, Goldenvoice has yet to announce whether or not they will further extend their layaway option to cover other hefty festival expenses, like the $8 Heinekens or $30 souvenir T-shirts sold on festival grounds.
Dance to the sound of your own music.
Haha
Totally! No one should be responsible enough to make their own decisions as to when and how try spend their money. Nor should we be expected to thoroughly read the fine print before participating in a financial transaction. Furthermore, Coachella is ALL about minorities and since they are practically forced to go we (white people) should definitely come to their rescue. They love that. Critical piece of journalism. Kudos.
i enjoyed reading this. now i get why everyone at coachella always looks homeless.
The shirts aren’t $30! But I guess you were trying to make a point. . .