Posted by
TV Carnage
• 04.07.08 10:49 am 
Charlton Heston is no longer with us. He was taken from us in his prime, at the age of 84. He loved, he fought, he believed, he demanded and commanded. He rode chariots and fought apes. He was a great man and now gone, I pray still has his second amendment rights in his hands.
Charlton, when you get to the gates, tell God you have a couple of tablets of his you wanna go over… knowing our Lord, he’ll laugh.
R.I.P. Mr Heston. P.S. He was reading ICE T lyrics.
getcher hands off me you damn dirty apes! word.
Fuck this guy. Shoot him out of a cannon. He’s like Ron Reagan inverted.
Nice work, as usual, on the mash-up, though.
NOOOOOOOOO DON”T TAKE CHUUUUCCCKKKKKK NOOOOOOOO!
peace out chuck. shoot a gun in heaven for me.
I hate every chimp I see from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z…..
“Wow. Back when I worked at a chain bookstore, we had a Heston in for a signing. I was supervisor during the event, and as you can imagine it was a mob scene. The event was your usual ‘say-hello-shake-hands-get-signature-then-move-on’ deal. One guy wouldn’t move on. My manager went over to him: ‘Sir you have to move on.’ ‘I’m here to see Mr. Heston!’ ‘And you did, now it’s other people’s turn.’ ‘My wife has cancer!’ ‘That’s terrible, sir, but you still have to let other people through.’ ‘I’m gonna kick you in the nuts!’ ‘Then I’ll call the cops!’ No you won’t!’ My manager started dialing. The guy took off.
Later as things started to break up I spotted a trio of people waiting by the door that led to the loading dock. There was this woman with a terrible skin condition that made her look like her face was erupting, another woman with this spooky, paralyzed rictus of a smile, and a young man with three Planet Of The Apes videotapes under his arm and an ‘I left the planet three days ago’ look on his face.
‘Can I help you people?’ I asked. ‘He’s coming back?’ they asked eagerly. ‘I don’t think so, but I can’t have you loitering here. Let me go check.’ I walked out to the loading dock and watched heston’s limosuine pull away. ‘He’s gone.’ I told them. ‘Awww, he’s gone,’ they gasped in disappointment.
So after meeting some of Heston’s fans, I fully understand his desire to arm himself.”
-originally posted by jonmc on metafilter.com