Erm, ahem. I’m not exactly drowning in comedy gigs since getting here. There’s only two comedy clubs: Jongleurs and The Stand and they’ve both told me to go fuck myself.
This shirt says “Che you Jimmy” which means “See you Jimmy” which means “Hey you.”
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Erm, ahem. I’m not exactly drowning in comedy gigs since getting here. There’s only two comedy clubs: Jongleurs and The Stand and they’ve both told me to go fuck myself. Apparently, you’re supposed to have some kind of video stuff to show them and it should have more than 103 hits.
I hereby guarantee I will be doing stand-up all over this town however. If I have to go from pub to pub begging to amuse people I will do it. Failure is not an option. In the meantime, I’ve been shopping my fucking ass off. Note the following finds…
They love New York here and the “I Heart NY” shirts are so popular, parodies abound. This says I Heart Fanny which means Cunt.
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Meat pies are one of the best things about Glasgow but the world of frozen food is slowly killing pub fare in this country. The irony is the biggest culprit is a Scotch ex-pat from Canada: McCain. These fuckers are ruining fries worldwide.
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The entire 6 season box set of Still Game is now available. You’re never going to see any more because, in true Glaswegian style, these two had a huge fight and will never speak again.
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The turds here are so adorable, they use them to advertise food.
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Translation: You haven’t seen a child named William with no pants and a runny nose have you?
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The cucumbers here have venereal warts.
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Went to the local museum where a young boy was selling Dalek balloons.
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This is my nigga James Watt. He didnae invent the steam engine but he was the first person to put it on its side which meant it could be used for trains and factories and everything else that begot the Industrial Revolution. Now, when you add in the part where Glasgow University basically invented the idea of separating church and state and you have a wee port town in Scotland responsible for all of Western Culture. You’re welcome fe that by the way.
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Right, so that’s aboot it. Ah’m gonnee get a comedy gig if it bloody kills me by the way. In the interim, here’s a wee video I did the last time I was doon here.
“world of frozen food is slowly killing pub fare in this country” how do you mean
Nice Nardwuar hat.
I don’t believe you’re Scottish.
since when does scotland exist?
when brits started having sex with sheep.
why do scots wear kilts?
because sheep can hear a zipper drop a mile away.
why are you stupid?
probably you’ve got some scottish blood.
You look defeated. Your defeated look should be incorporated into your act.
Will you be bringing your circus down to London any time Gavin?
Plus if you want to perform Edinburgh is your place – you should set-up a show during the fringe.
Isn’t that Still Game argument-thing a UK phenomena, not just Scottish? Didn’t the same thing happen with the two guys in The Likely Lads? Is it that Scots have huge arguments in public while the English have hissy fits in private?
Man, have you hit the Sub Crawl yet ? Get off at every station and have a pint at the nearest bar. Only little dinky thing, so works out at about 15 drinks. Either do that or get shitfaced on Buckfast.
Get yourself a bottle of buckfast, its rocket fuel!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuKZWkgo098
The video of your gran is very nice. She reminds me a lot of mine who passed away a year and half ago. I’m liking this Glasgow quest.
Hey Gelvon,
A Scottish person is called a SCOTT. NOT FUCKING SCOTCH!
Pretty good act tho… You aughtta try it in NY.
You’re a sweetie for the nomenclature tip, JuCIFER. Now reread the post with an eye for adjective vs. noun.
Also that Knitting Factory clip brought back sweet sweet memories.
Try Tchai Ovna the tea shop place. They seem to (no offense of course) let just about anyone perform, just about anything.
Your grandma is a gem
someone mentioned before that Gavin only has one pair of jeans. i believe that to be true.
Plus he should finally change that fake-tattoo mesh shirt.
http://www.polkadotpetals.com/v/vspfiles/photos/SoTribalTattooSleeves1-2T.jpg
im loving this scotland adventure! your grandmother is a sweetheart and scotland just went way up on my list of places to go. people there seem cool.
by the way, did anyone understand a single fuckin word that those simple game people were saying?
nice video. the gram is very cool.
i wanted to not like your stand-up. I couldn’t. Your act is what “alternative” comedy is supposed to be instead of Dimitri Martin. You come off as having done it for much longer than you have. I’m also a stand-up and it killed me to write this. nice watch.
kevin
Hey, whaddya doing instilling pride in my mongrel Scottish heritage? I was using that as a dark spot on my otherwise spotless French-Canadian pedigree.
what i love about third world people : they keep singing and having a positive attitude nonetheless, you know.
Scotland is a dump.
Part from the top bit which is nice – mountains an that, the rest of it fucking crap.
Theres a moose loose around this hoose!
etc.
where’s all the heroin?
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=3764564
Did someone say heroin?
mmm.
i hate everyone above me who has any hate for this post
yes i wanted to hate on your stand up too but come on ass munching is always funny, even if I was already acquainted with much of the material it was a good delivery AND
i can’t believe yr gramma is 90 yrs old, hope you get some of those genes, what a firecracker! maybe i should move to scotland so i can stay beautiful and sharp when I’m a dinosaur too.
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