What’s better than surfing the Internet? Surfing the internet with tears streaming down your face while looking for answers to all your life’s problems, that’s what.
What’s better than surfing the Internet? Surfing the internet with tears streaming down your face while looking for answers to all your life’s problems, that’s what. Thanks to modern technology there is absolutely no reason why anyone should seek advice from friends and family because 10 they are probably morons, and 2) there is an ocean of strangers ready to set you adrift in half-assed advice and confusion. Think of online advice as a virtual bus station where everyone gets to weigh in on anything and everything you mumble out loud! See, that’s fun!
One of my favorite parts of the bus station is in the corner where the air is dank with the odor of mints, sour musk, and incontinence. It’s the mature adult’s area. Yes, the elderly. There is nothing to scoff at, the elderly know there shit and they can be pretty good buds, with exception to the elderly that suck. They sucked when they were twenty and they suck, times four, now that they are eighty. But here is one senior actor turned advice guru who still has what it take, so come on, let’s get some advice.
ELDER CIRCLE VIDEO:
I can’t really say why I trust the elderly more than regulars, but I guess it has something to do with their inability to move quickly so they have more time to rummage through their thoughts. In fact, fuck them. Why not try out the most elderly dude on the block, G-O-D the OG? He hangs out over by the vending machine by the woman’s can but keep in mind, since God’s hands are way to big for komputore keyboards, he requires vessels to share his love and wisdom. This is where things get tricky because not all vessels are created equally and you need to find the right one, the one that knows how to talk to YOU, someone that doesn’t sound like your faggy mom or lesbo dad. Pastor Michael from Goldstar Ministries is that guy waiting with his foot kicked back on the vending machine. Not only does he hang out near graffiti and in junkyards, he also gives great advice-jobs without burdening himself with facts or solid explanations. That’s my kind of ballsy answer man. Willing to take on Gothic Behavior or drinkers of wine spritzers.
WHAT’S UP WITH DRUGS?
THE OCCULT:
One thats filled with sunshine, happiness, and goodness… Dangerous fist pound at 0:11.
Minister gold star is a convicted sex offender. He is also currently on trail for ass-aulting his son greg.
@ Fact! No shit really? I could feel the creepiness!
Ass assaults are better than weed!!!
Pastor, am I the only one who’s gaydar is beeping like a crack dealer in the 80s? See that’s what happens when you don’t let humans have sex. They do creepy shit.
“One of my favorite parts of the bus station is in the corner where the air is dank with the odor of mints, sour musk and incontinence. It’s the mature adult’s area. Yes the elderly. There is nothing to scoff at, the elderly know there shit and they can be pretty good buds, with exception to the elderly that suck. They sucked when they were twenty and they suck times four now that they are eighty.”
agree totally. love this. i’m actually going to order the book. great post.
“Grandparents in Cyber-Space” sounds like a Ernest Borgnine movie from the early 90′s
no YOU’LL end up in a junk yard!
whats the difference between satanism and satan worship?
Well Seth, actually the fundamental distinction between the two is that I’m going to stab you in the throat with a crucifix and use your blood to make a collage on my wall (you know, a fancy school).
The albino pastor is broadcasting from a post-apocalyptic wasteland
“…the elderly know there…”
it’s “their”
not to be a dick about grammar, cause i really like this article.