Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend fucking sucks. If you guys went out for more a than a year, you’re suddenly forced to completely rearrange your life.
Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend fucking sucks. If you guys went out for more a than a year, you’re suddenly forced to completely rearrange your life. At least initially, you have alternate custody of your mutual friends. If you lived together you’ve either got to throw all the other person’s shit out first or find a new place to live. When you go out you have to actively search out someone to fuck instead knowing that its waiting as soon as you get home. But perhaps the worst part is that, if you actually loved the person or got cheated on or something shitty like that, you’re going to feel like crap for awhile. But don’t worry, here’s some advice that will make you feel better:
(Keep in mind that all of this only applies if you’ve been dating the person for more than a year. If it’s been less time than that, just get over it already you fucking pussy.)
Constantly Chill with Your Friends
Spend the least time alone as possible. If you’re alone the chances of you being a pussy and sobbing about your break up are much higher than if you’re with the guys. Alternately, girls, your friends will let you cry on their shoulder and you can all talk shit together about what a huge asshole your ex was, how tiny his penis was, how ugly his new bitch is, etc. Either way, if your friends are any good you won’t have much of a chance to even think about your ex because they’ll keep you too busy with booze and drugs and partying. It’s their duty as friends.
Drink Tons of Booze
Drink a lot, but not by yourself and not to the point that you turn into a giant crybaby (friends will help you on both these counts). Alcohol will fill that hollow pit in your stomach and also grease you back into that now estranged single world of talking strangers into letting you into their pants, occasionally getting shot down, and sometimes ending up in bed with an ugly/psychopathic/dumb person.
Bang a Bunch of Mids
Have sex with as many 5s and 6s as possible. If you’ve got a even a semblance of game, it should be relatively easy to get them into bed. If it’s been awhile and your mack has suffered considerably, stoop down to 4s. All this fucking will quickly remind you that there other people out there while giving you a much needed chance to let off some sexual steam. Just make sure not to let any date-able prospects catch on because you might end up shooting yourself in the foot.
Stick to this regiment regimen [Ed: thanks, maurice del taco] and you should be feeling fine in two weeks. I guarantee it.
- Hrundi V. Bakshi
regimen
dont you ever tell me how to live my life!
and what if you’ve no friends or money? you assume too much.
Some people call this common sense, and if you need to read a shitty blog post to find it, then you’re fucked anyway.
yeah this fucking article reminds me of that Calgon commercial…this shit aint no ancient chinese secret. particularly the part about drugs and alcohol fixing everything, thats just common sense.
stop whining you fucking trust fund kid.
Again another boring fucking post – how to get over an ex? Fucking hell, nowt else going on you useless cunts?
Fucking YAWN again!
Ps. even your fucking advise is fucking bullshit – get drunk hang round with your friends and fuck people. Noice!
meh – even if it is common knowledge, its still some good advice.. thanks
also go away for a week and get ripped in a new town.
even better burn down the ex’s parents house, kill the family dog and fuck the corpse on the front lawn
^^ What he said!
Also, always look like you are having a great time when you see them. Give them a big hug and laugh laugh laugh. They will mope.
No. Get a second job, don’t eat, work out a lot, sublimate the rest of your frustration into a creative outlet.
LAST 2 are excellent. Even BRAIN AIDS knows how to get down.
Reading this was like “Eternal sunshine of a waste of time”
P.S. eat my ass
LAME
for a second i thought this was going to be something like the guide to picking up chicks.
great thanks for the advice, have sex with fatties and drink a lot.
what are you 16?
I didn’t read it.
Be single or get into a relationship.
Also, go to your Dr. and try to get pills.
Um at this point i think ANY advice on what to do when your relationship falls apart is ok in my book.
esp if its a girl that looks like the one in the picture because you’re going to want to KILL YOURSELF..
this guy is alright too:
lives.to.strangle. Says:
08.05.09 at 9:53 am
dont you ever tell me how to live my life!”
haha
This is a bad post on this site.
Relation to Ralph Bakshi?
Everythings good but fucking mids. It won’t make you feel good, everyone knows this. If anything it makes you feel worse because those shitty lays won’t hold a candle to your ex, who you were ridiculously comfortable with in the sack and thus ridiculously kinky with.
I SKATEBOARD FOR A LIVING