I know you’ve missed me, SC readers. I’ve missed you too. Lots of big changes! I’m no longer in a relationship, and I’m actually getting laid now…

I know you’ve missed me, SC readers. I’ve missed you too. Lots of big changes! I’m no longer in a relationship, and I’m actually getting laid now, so maybe I’m no longer qualified to give bitter, misguided advice about your sex problems. Is that it? But if, in any case, you DO want to hear from me, I’m not going to go through the motions of creating an alternate email account and sending in fake emails to myself so I can answer them and you can all tell me how not funny I am. Too much work!

Likewise, I am not going to brainstorm about what weird fetish groups I can gank from the Something Awful forums and pretend I just discovered (see: Bad Dragons, those weird skin latex freaks). If a girl blogs about dragon cocks in the forest and no one pays her, does it still turn up in her parents’ Google search of her name? Yes, yes it does.

So here’s the deal: If you want me to give you sex advice, then you have to email either me or the staff with the headline “Dear Drew.” If you want me to write about some creepy sex thing you “found out about even though I’m totally not into it, it’s just weird ha ha ha…?” then you have to EMAIL ME (or again, the staff) with “Sex shit for Drew” or something else. Otherwise I’m not giving you guys shit, and you will live in a Drew-less world, and in the words of an old friend “a little piece of (his) childhood” won’t die every time he reads this site.

Hope that helps,
Drew

Related posts:

1. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: DEAR DREW
2. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: DEAR DREW
3. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: DEAR DREW
4. DEAR DREW: 7 QUESTIONS
5. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: DEAR DREW – CHOKE FUCK