I mean really screamed at the top of my lungs about how shitty I think she’s been acting right in her front yard for the world to hear. I even did that move where I was so pissed that I kicked the front gate open
I mean really screamed at the top of my lungs about how shitty I think she’s been acting right in her front yard for the world to hear. I even did that move where I was so pissed that I kicked the front gate open with my heel in a fit rage as I was leaving. And she just sat there staring at me like I was psycho, which i am. But here’s the deal, she totally has been acting REALLY shitty, for like, months. I had no idea I was this angry at her, but apparently I am. To give you some example of her shitty behavior:
she complains to other friends how i never call her to hang anymore but she almost never answers her own phone/returns my calls. she told everyone but her roommates that she hated the house she lived in and found an apartment and is moving out and when she finally told her roommates about it she decided against it but will not talk to her roommates about why she wanted to move out in the first place (they are all friends). She spends all her free time with her boyfriend (who is alcoholic, underachiever “photographer” sleaze bag, who showed up late to meet my friends parents for the first time in stained clothes he had slept in), and all they do is take drugs (adderall, molly, coke, and who knows what else.) and have sex and go to thrift stores buying junk she doesn’t need. on my birthday she had me go with her to buy weed and spent the entire time telling me how she hates her life and our other best friend no longer cares for her (total bs!) and then refused to go out to dinner with me, i even offered to pay so she would come. (ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, she knows my birthdays mean a lot to me). oh, and she’s still not over her ex, who we share a social scene with, even though it’s been over a year. and every time we she him and his new girlfriend she spends the whole time saying how ugly he looks (i.e. how beautiful he looks) and how much she hates his new gf. plus, if you talk to the new gf, she will be fucking pissed at you. all she does is complain and when her friends try to help her and give her advice she never does anything to fix the situation. she’s always double booking herself. she says no one want to hang with her but that’s only because everybody knows that if they call her she wont answer the phone because she’s always “too tired”.
bascially, i have every right to be pissed at her, but i exploded at her in a really unreasonable way, that i actually feel bad about.
should i appologize for exploding at her and get on with the friendship? i really do love the bitch. or does it sound like a lost cause.
your opinion is appreciated,
love,
glasses.
Dear Glasses,
Self entitled anger is a tricky sitch, one that’s obviously not working out in your favor. Does it ever? Not really. Here’s why: everything you wrote that’s sandwiched between the first sentence and the last sentence all read as noise, similar to that of a child having a temper tantrum. If you’re asking why your best friend is mad at you, the answer is in the letter. You’re a judgemental bitch! You’re angry because you’re wrong, and you know it, and rather than fess up to the humility of the situation, you are lashing out at her.
Exhibit A: She spends all her free time with her boyfriend (who is alcoholic, underachiever “photographer” sleaze bag, who showed up late to meet my friends parents for the first time in stained clothes he had slept in), and all they do is take drugs (adderall, molly, coke, and who knows what else.) and have sex and go to thrift stores buying junk she doesn’t need.
Are you her mom? Cuz you’re acting like it. Who cares if she hangs out with her boyfriend, does drugs, and goes thrifting? That sounds like fun to me. In fact, I think your friend just gave me a better idea of how I should be spending my time. I love having sex and buying “junk I don’t need”, what’s it to you? Jealous much? Methinks yes.
Exhibit B: Everything else is garbage. My eyes glazed over the drama. You sound like an episode of The Hills. I’m not saying your friend is perfect, but rather then get angry with HER because YOU are unable to control HER behavior, why don’t you just worry about yourself? I don’t blame her for not wanting to hang out with you, you’re being mean! You keep yelling at her and judging her, why do you think she doesn’t want to hang out? If I wanted to hang out with you, I’d hang out with my mom instead. She’d at least make me scrambled eggs.
If you really do “love the bitch” you will let her do what she wants to do and fall back. It sounds like you don’t love her though. It sounds like your love for her is conditional as to whether or not she does what you want her to do. Yes you should apologize, and you should leave it at that. Going over all the things she’s doing to YOU is self-absorbed, self-righteous, victim-y bullshit. Apologize to clean up your side of the street, but don’t be surprised if she doesn’t accept. Don’t be surprised if she becomes someone you’ve had a falling out with, and one day in the future you look at a picture of the two of you and get sad because you remember the good old days of when you used to be BFF. Sorry but you sound like a nightmare. Take this time to look at yourself for a minute, rather than character assassinate someone else. You know what they say about people we hate? It’s like looking into a mirror.
Being able to contain our anger is extremely difficult, something I try to work on all the time. I’ve thrown everything from remotes to punches, and at the end of the day all I can remember is the shame I have in acting out on my childish behavior, not the thing that made me so angry in the first place. Your actions are EVERYTHING, so use them wisely.
Good luck,
Lesley
damn, that was pretty good advice
I was wondering how you were gonna handle this one. well done.
Damn Lesley! You just PMS’d on this bitch, HARD!!!
The 20′s suck.
wow v impressed
What’s “molly”? As in, “adderall, molly, coke…”
Why is she opening her mouth like that is she fantasizing about bn’ size or what
holy guacamole, chicks are so stupid. here i am, expecting lesley’s answer to be like, “dude, your friend is just being like a zillion other people: totally insecure, totally indulgent, and totally boring, just drop her and while you’re at it, try being a little more interesting yourself.” but instead, she’s like, “hey letter-writer, you’re mean!”. no, everyone here is idiots. letter-writer is just really young, probably somewhere in her 20s, but mentally somewhere in her early teens. friend is mentally living in that complete fantasy that the world enables so many women to become lost in. together, they are everything that makes everything so mediocre and snooze-worthy. in fact, i just sxdakjnas zzxzz zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
quit plagiarizing me, bitch.
Molly McBender – 1 definition – A slang term given to an [MDMA] ([ecstasy]) binge. [Molly] is a slang term for pure [MDMA] powder
This is great advice. good job, barf, for diagnosing glasses’ hysteria.
Funny, back in the day a Molly was a Black Molly – speed. Anyway, good advice, sometimes people really like to stir the shit, and that’s when I step back from the relationship. Drama = trauma.
And sorry to hear about your bike. That sucks balls.
Jewish girls give the worst head.
If Molly was a Black Molly in your lifetime, you need to quit reading this site forthwith (you’re WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY too fucking old) and get a job (your mom will be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO proud)
Not readable JESUS arfin hit return there’s no goddamn spaces there and it’s boring
arfin calls her judgemental but her response is pretty judgemental in itself.
if someone is acting shitty- and you cant take it anymore- drop them!
otherwise, stop bitching!
Love is unconditional, relationships are not. If someone is too much of a headache for too long, I just split. I already have a job, and I’m not looking for another. I’ll love you from a distance. Been doing that with two exes for around ten years now. I’m not getting what I really want from them, but I wasn’t getting what I wanted back when I was with them, either. Too much work for not enough reward.
Only co-dependent people hang in there for every last shred of bullshit. They like to believe it’s loyalty (see: rationalizing), but it’s really just another distraction from their own life, from figuring out what to do with themselves and/or how to improve their circumstances. That kind of stuff is usually rooted in a dysfunctional upbringing. The other-focused drama masks a terrifying doubt about one’s ability to make effective choices/take effective action on one’s own behalf. In short, how to be an individuated adult.
Jesus said “When you come to a fork in the road take the one less traveled”
And by this saying I believe he would interpret your situation as one in which you need to consumate your relationship with your friend sexually, possibly with her roommates as well.
This will bring you all closer together and regain the bond which you have lost.
I believe Dr. Phil would concur on this issue as well.
Oh and post the recording on the internet.
if one of my friends was actin like the chick who got yelled at, id just slap the shit out of her, and eventually cut her off.
i cant see how watching a friends life spiral into a shithole of stupid behavior is being a better friend than telling said friend what the fucking problem is.
I hate psychology.
white people are weird in the sense that they fight sometimes even hit each other then they are friends again sometime later, that shit is WEIRD
if someone hits me i’m not gonna be their friend?! or even if someone spazzes out and tells me what a bitch i am …if they dont like me -fuck them.
@sbot
i know mad races where friends throw the hands and get over it. its not a white thing.
sometimes friends need to have some sense beat into them.
As soon as my roomate/best bud gets home from work today he is getting a TV remote right off the noggin.
i was rolling my face off on molly at The Dead/Allman Bros. show at The Gorge in Washington state. so fun! two “darkstars” and a killer version of “into the mystic” by Van Morrison song.
This girl isn’t your sponsee, she’s not doing her ninth step, so don’t advise her as if you met her in a twelve step meeting. Not everyone can identify with AA/NA logic.
is right. a little harsh, but it’s the first thing i thought. granted this girl is flakey and hangs out with shitty dudes, but whatever man, it’s her journey. the only time you can truly flip is if someone GRIMES YOU HARD and this girl did not do that at all. judging the boyfriend and the drugs and the thrifting is GAY and retarded, and yes, does smack of jealousy. my sister is exactly like the girl who yelled – she gets angry or holds grudges when a friend doesnt do what she wants her to do and it’s like dude, just move on, people do their own shit, stop investing so much in what your friend is doing, means you are too invested & not into anything else, acting like a clingy girlfriend, my advice to this girl is get a life and stop being a baby.
why would i even attempt that? it doesn’t even appear to be formatted correctly.
I can’t bring myself to read this for some reason. What’s wrong with me?
yeah. you’re gonna be a mediocre average person who thrift shops and does drugs, if you’re not aware and dismissive. Or maybe you’ll be like Lesley with her talents and shit but who can’t cash in, and still sells clothes and works at hotels. Am I just a cunt? yeah. But I’m drunk so I’m just writing. I love you guys. Anyways, bitch you should be a band or an artist or something cause you’re a perfectionist. Don’t be mediocre and average, be lonely, be a perfectionist, straddle death. Shit. No don’t do it. Blend in, fit in. Water yourself down. Do some drugs get a boyfriend, fuck a lot. Be like Lesley, thrift shop.
i love the picture, so glad the girl made the extra effort not to have a shirt, or spaghetti straps. I love you guys. Peace and veganism forever:)
there are two different lifestyles and its rly easy to make the assement that Mine is The Better Way to Live. she thinks the same way. IF you love her let her do her thing, don’t pry, and w/e see how it goes. but she aint gonna call you soon. you totally burned her in the front lawn and that shit’s embarrassing
I see some sense in Lesley’s advice but she’s been way too harsh, and a simple apology isn’t gonna solve this.
Glasses, whether you think your friend’s boyfriend is a loser or not is none of your business and has nothing to do with your friendship with her. You’re being a jerk by even bringing that up. If you think her drug taking and thrifting is boring then do other things you both like when you two are together, but when shes not with you, you shouldnt be putting her down for what she likes. Same deal with her not being over her ex and her beef with her roommates — how has it got anything to do with your friendship with her? You shouldn’t have screamed at her and kicked her front gate, that was shitty and unnecessary.
You should have met up with your friend and spoke to her. You should have tried to explain to her that you felt like you were drifting apart. Explained to her that you’re finding it hard to bond with her when she chooses to do it through drugs re: your birthday. If things still didnt change after you spoke to her then you let the friendship fade out of its own accord, you dont burn bridges in fits of rage.
This sucked.
A picture of you and Chloe would have been better.
I unequivocally and absolutely determine that you are judgmental!
too long, didn’t read
blow up dolls are weird
Girls complaining about each other, and then girls judging and complaining about each other.
Topical.
Typical.
Bitch in the photo gets any uglier and she’ll be Sarah Silverman.
I just drove upstate and sprinkled massive amounts of brake dust and harmful pathogens in rivers and fields everywhere. It’s what I do when Vegan Jules posts a comment.