How can I become fucking awesome? this is a serious question. My situation isn’t too special. I’m in high school, and it is fucking lame. Teachers out to get me and catty bitches, blahhhhh. But whatever. I don’t think I’m necessarly special or unique…
How can I become fucking awesome? this is a serious question.
My situation isn’t too special. I’m in high school, and it is fucking lame. Teachers out to get me and catty bitches, blahhhhh. But whatever. I don’t think I’m necessarly special or unique…just less boring. My town is dead, and our stereotypes SUCK. No punks or hip hoppers or anything really. Just a bunch of white kids that drink the same shitty beer and fuck the same shitty people every weekend.
Also, it may have something to do with my “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. I don’t do it on purpose, I swear. I just can’t find it in me to dress nicely when there’s no one worth impressing around. Also, I barely have cash to blow on nice jeans (cigarettes are 7 and change now!). I’m tall as fuck and sorta chubby (workin on it) so finding good jeans alone is terribly hard. I’m tired of being known as the girl that wears sweats and hangs out with the bitches bros wanna smash.
From what I’ve read on Street Carnage, you’ve got the cool. And then some. Share your secrets? I’m out of this bitch in a little over a year…but I wanna make the best out of it.
THANK YOUUUU,
Tinker
Dear Tink,
This is a great question. First of all, I feel your pain about finding the right pair of jeans. Why IS it so hard? No matter what size you are, finding the right pair of jeans has been a life long quest. Some easy solutions I found when I was in high school was getting Dickies at Kmart (in navy) and surprisingly The Gap has been making good jeans.
I have cool jeans now but they aren’t expensive. In fact one of my most favorite pair come from The Gap. The secret to dressing cool is finding stuff at uncool places and making them your own. If you want to add some homemade holes, make a small incision with a pair of scissors and work out the rest with a nail file. I like dressing comfortably too. Ripping t shirts, sweatshirts, sewing studs, fur, even drawing or painting your sneakers are all cool ideas and also make for a fun crafternoon. Maybe google image some fashion icons that inspire you to get the ball rolling. Nothing makes me wanna put on a cool outfit more than Jennifer Herrema so when I’m in a fashion desert, I google image pictures of her to quench my thirst. And lastly, since you live in a buttfuck town I’m sure there’s a ton of Salvation Army’s and Savers. Get thrifting!
Part 2: I bet there is an untapped resource of punk/alternative/freaky kids in your town but if you can’t find them YET, build it and they will come. Start dressing like the people you wish you could find. My only warning is that your (wack) friends might bust your balls.
Unfortunately this comes with the territory of building up cool cards. You have to build an immunity toward assholes. If you can dish out bad-assness, you have to be able to take shit for it. I didn’t make up the rules, this is just the way it is. You do have friends. You have friends in every weirdo album you fall in love with. In every book or zine or website you come across that you relate to. It is gonna feel lonely. It is gonna be hard. Some us didn’t chose to live this way, it chose us. When I was in high school I wasn’t willing to give up all my freakiness for anyone, not even the guido girls with their sharp red nails who threatened to claw my eyes out. Instead I put my headphones on, listened to The Smiths, and wrote in my stupid dumb diary.
NOW WHAT SON?!?!
Lucky for you Tinker, you only have a year left. My fingers are crossed that you have a drivers license and access to a car. Get in that baby and just drive the fuck away and before you know it, you’ll be gone for good.
xx
Lesley
this website sucks now
“Just a bunch of white kids that drink the same shitty beer and fuck the same shitty people every weekend.” Wow. Do you live in Williamsburg?
gay
You won’t be awesome until you get to college, preferably one that lies outside of “real america.” Relish in your lameness now because the proverbial universe justice will work itself out when the dorks become cool and/or rich and the cool kids become fat townies … oh wait, this is real life.
Basically, if you are a dork now, you’ll be a dork forever (or at least carry a loser complex forever). However, if you can slap some irony on your lame ass and a little bit of taste, you’ll be a dork with purpose and in good company!
May God be with yo’ corny ass!
Watch Lou Reed interviews and take notes. I’m totally serious.
this why sxsw is now suck fest
http://www.javelinexperiential.com/experiential-marketing/javelin-experiential-programs/sxsw-branding-austin
There’s a reason they call is high school my friend.
It’s training you to get high so that by the time you graduate and get the fuck out of dodge you are proficient at drug use and can hold your shit around your dealers and fellow users. Shit takes practice and control.
Get high and hang around your parents on every drug you can get a hold of. If they can’t tell you’re high then you’re learning well young padawan.
Other than that the only other point to high school is to fuck shit up.
Read that post that Gavin wrote a few weeks ago about how they used to fuck shit up in their town. That’s what you should be doing until you graduate.
All that shit they’re teaching you in high school is worthless and you’ll learn in college.
Now’s the only time you’ll ever have to be total complete irresponsible fuck up and get away with it. Enjoy.
In 9th grade English we went over subjects and predicates in a sentence. Subject “The dog” Predicate “ate my homework”. It took about 3 miutes to learn. And then I spent 3 years 8 months 29 days and 42 minutes watching my “peers” getting it wrong over and over and over and…. I never wanted to get out of college, but high school was like a death sentence.
Barf is the best part of this site by far.
salad is a fucking idiot
If you are asking how to be cool or awesome then it basically means that you just weren’t blessed with that intangible quality. Sorry.
To be truly awesome, start studying the mathematics of developmental embryonic morphology. We’ve sequenced the genome, and have a rudimentary idea of how proteins fold, but we still have no real idea why one set of proteins becomes a chicken and another becomes a fat guy’s shoulder blade. Cloning and bioengineering is the future, and you will still have time to bedazzle your jeans from the gap or whatever other gay shit is being suggested.
rip your jeans and shirts??? why the christ would you do that? they’ll rip with time. that’s faux cool. jesus! you fucking kids and your money!
I live over in the nice part of town and recently just picked up a pack of Camels for 4.02$ at the Econo Flash. Cool as a Que-cum-ber.
uhh, now you’re a guest contributor on street carnage. congrats?
The key to high school: smoke weed every day.
Exercise is a good free high too. Become a distance runner or biker or skater and you can disappear for a few hours, get high, come home tired, smelly and out of it without tipping of the rents.
Fat chicks are never awesome though. Tall chicks are awesome, but if you are a chick, no matter what your face looks like, you can always have a hot body. What is it that the models say, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Might seem counter-intuitive when I’m advocating weed smoking, but the munchies will go away when you smoke more.
Barf, this is great advice. I second @Salad’s comment as well–smoke a lot of weed. It brings people from all different walks of high school life together and makes everything better.
Telling someone how to be awesome is like telling someone how to be smart or funny. You can’t just “be” awesome. You can be AROUND people who THINK you’re awesome, which is why guido’s live in Jersey, and “hipsters” live in gentrified neighborhoods in big cities… Don’t try to do anything. Just move to a bigger city, listen to the music you like, wear clothes that make you feel pretty (or funny, or whatever), go to bars and places where the people don’t beat you up or ignore you, and hang out with nice people you get along with. That’s awesome.
I call bullshit. You made it up so you can give everyone advice on how to be cool.
if you really didn’t give a fuck, and you really couldn’t be bothered to impress the assholes at your school, you would not be this preoccupied with where the cool kids are at.
if you want to be an awesome interesting person, you need to own it. you gotta be so into doing your own thing that you could not care less if everyone’s fucking everyone else and when your friends dont invite you out with them its not gonna matter to you half as much because you have to have your OWN shit going on anyways .
being awesome and unique requires an education that only you can give yourself. the school of life is way better than high school and college because you pick what you study and tailor the curriculum to whatever the fuck you feel like doing. basically, you need to figure out what interests you and excites you enough that you can’t get enough of it, and you gotta become an expert on it. it literally does not matter what your interests are, you just need to develop the hell out of them. it’s fun and it’s how you become a character and you wont feel like you dont have a personality anymore. the key is to find shit that excites you just because it exists. its really important that you use your excessive amount of free time to read and write and watch good movies and MAKE stuff, being bored is the biggest waste of time ever. i dont know you, but i really like these things and ive been into them since high school and maybe you’ll like them too-> bret easton ellis, the manson family, harmony korine, anais nin, courtney love, kenneth anger, the graduate, robert anton wilson, and heavy metal. i dont really listen to heavy metal anymore because im in college and i grew out of my teen angst, but its cool to listen to listen to shit like black sabbath and slayer and old metallica when you’re in high school even if nobody you know does.
also, every time you encounter some sort of cultural reference you’re not familiar with, do yourself a huge favor and wikipedia that shit. it takes like a minute and you have a 50% chance of it ending up being something you end up getting into, and it makes you smarter.
don’t watch tv, pretend it doesn’t exist. that shit sucks. do drugs indiscriminately but be aware that if youre too high all the time to continue educating yourself, and if all you talk about is getting high or how good this coke is or your bank balance, you’re officially boring. if you don’t feel pretty, which you totally NEED to feel pretty in order to chill out and start liking yourself, wearing expensive makeup every day no matter what will help with that. cheap makeup ruins your skin and looks trashy. being girly for the hell of it just feels good.
Forget exercise highs. Go home and beat off to your cute classmates. Helps keep your acne down, too. Well, you know, at least that’s what they say.
I’m in agreement with Adolf, the letter seemed fake.
In any case this is bad advice. dickies, gap jeans, painted sneakers are all wack, as is doing anything that could end up being sold on Etsy. these things are preparation for living alone in a 1 room apartment, having a job as a blogger and never going outside.
If you are actually tall, just try to drop a lot of weight, smile a lot, and have nice hair. then you can be a model and date a guy who is rich and famous and have a “real” awesome life, instead of the rehab crafternoon version.
salad is right
@ Loozer Boozer: SSSSSSSSSSNAP!
@ Ned
hey fuck you i wear dickies and i’m cool
murder a bullie at school and beat the charge. that would be cool i think.
it must be way easier to be cool and 18 today than like 15 years ago, what with the internet and blogs and sites dedicated to every detail of every subculture known to man and the ability to download every bit of music ever made for free. It’s like the difference between actually having to go hunting and kill and gut your own food, and having it served to you on a platter while you lay on one of those faggy Marie Antoinette sofas. being 18 today must be a dream for lazy people. in the future it’ll be just like one of those Jetsons machines that takes you and just dresses you cool and buys your drugs and picks your music and friends and writes jokes for you. Isn’t that really what people want anyway?
dumb diary? i liked that book.
Lesley, You have just giving this girl the worst advice possible.
Yeah, put holes in your jeans, draw on your sneaks – be like every other fucking clone wannabe out there. And guess what – all these fools are anxiety stricken weirdos completely frightened that they might not be as cool as the next guy. DO NOT BE LIKE THEM
Here is my advice – wear what you want; write stuff – like really good stuff not the nonsense, colloquial bullshit that gets passed off as edgy on sites like this; watch movies; listen to music you like. It’s probably better be the coolest person in your shitty town than another brooklyn casualty.
BE HAPPY!
p.s. spelling mistake – sor-ry.
Bullshit. You wanna be cool? Find whatever decent scene there is in your town (don’t try to make one, there already is one), make close friends with one or two of them depending on who seems most responsive, be extroverted, get drunk with them, listen to their bullshit until they rely on you emotionally, which they will because they’re vapid, and watch your status escalate. Sound hollow? It is, but so is wanting to be cool. Popularity (and power and money and everything else) is something you get through personal relations with other people, not through self-expression. Can you deal?
Also, this question is fuckin fake, dude
@ voice of reason
What really interesting is that only 20 amino acids create trillions of different proteins.
And if we figure out how that works we can literally be biological architects.
Although it will require a lot of aborted fetus’s mainly for the scientists to snack on while in their labs.
They’re actually developing affordable home PCR machines so people can do their own molecular biology research in home labs without needing a big government grant.
Open source molecular biology for the masses.
It’s going to be like Bit torrent for biology.
i thought my advice to her was actually pretty great. so there.