Cult leader David Cross recently challenged his 16,630 followers to create a tagline for the lonely man’s new best friend, the Fleshlight Motion.

Cult leader David Cross recently challenged his 16,630 followers to create a tagline for the lonely man’s new best friend, the Fleshlight Motion. Here are a few highlights:

@revpjack Fleshlight Motion: When you’ve come to the end of the “things I’ll put my dick into” list

@vicarpac Fleshlight Motion: Because Sometimes The Dog Has a Headache

@theatredogg Fleshlight Motion: Just like the real thing without the hassle of a shovel and wheelbarrow

@artlab Fleshlight Motion: Jonas Bro Practice Hole

@Mavillionaire Fleshlight Motion: The best part of a lady combined with the best part of a couch

@bnig Fleshlight Motion: For today’s active masturbator

@mattcbrown Fleshlight Motion: No need to put your sandwich down

@ED209 Fleshlight Motion: The Interpretive dance of loneliness

@marcmaron Fleshlight Motion: Straddle the future and fuck it

@FireJerryManuel Fleshlight Motion: Rock Bottom Is Just a Thrust Away

@ThirdProject Fleshlight Motion: Why hide your sex toys when you can disguise them as furniture?

@Kerry_White Fleshlight Motion: When Craigslist rejects your personal ad

@johnhawkinsrwn For a look at what may be a new historic low for Twitter Trending topics, check out “Fleshlight Motion.”

@the_real_scorpy Fleshlight Motion: 100% Harder to Disguise as a Flashlight

@waxlion12 Fleshlight Motion: Because sometimes the sofa has a headache

@djsnow Fleshlight Motion: Now even more tearstain-resistant

@hooper_x Fleshlight Motion: Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel Into A Vagina Shape, Then Fucking It

@mattcbrown Fleshlight Motion: A gloryhole for OUR generation

@MattMill88 Fleshlight Motion: Likes you for who you are

@Tea_Phrase Fleshlight Motion: Crippling depression’s newest accessory

@hotdogwheel Fleshlight Motion: The Ottoman That Won’t Say No

@jdcrowley Fleshlight Motion: Now all you need is a throw pillow that’ll lick your asshole

@suddain Fleshlight Motion: Because it’s easier than filling the gaping hole in your soul

@Kyattsuai Fleshlight Motion: Whoever pulls you out of it becomes the next king of England

@bradiscranky Fleshlight Motion: Not turned off by the clown makeup

@malusman Fleshlight Motion: If your erection lasts more than 4 minutes, seek immediate mental help

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