I used to drive a van for Cargo Records in Montreal. My job was to take the hour drive into the States, pick up a bunch of inventory, and bring it back to Canada. The CDs were my responsibility
I used to drive a van for Cargo Records in Montreal. My job was to take the hour drive into the States, pick up a bunch of inventory, and bring it back to Canada. The CDs were my responsibility because they were in my van so when the customs guys had questions I couldn’t just say, “I don’t know dude. I just throw it in the van and drive.”
One day, the customs guy passed by an Anal Cunt CD (thank God) and pulled out a Butthole Surfers CD. He said, “What does this mean?” I realized, at that point, I didn’t know what it means. Are the “Butthole Surfers” guys who surf Buttholes or are they Surfers who are jerks? I went for the latter and he shrugged his shoulders and stuck it back in the appropriate box. Phew. I brought the CDs back to the warehouse in Montreal and Cargo records went under soon after.
Speaking of which, we went to see the Buttholes on Friday night at Warsaw here in Brooklyn. They sold 900 tickets at $30 each with a mere 75 people on the guest list. That’s $27,000. Now, you figure Black Dice got about 5k of that, right? The venue probably got another 5k (which they seem to be spending on asshole bouncers – Jesus Christ. Someone was getting thrown out on their ass about every 5 minutes for no reason whatsoever. I’m not sure what their usual Polack clientele are up to but here’s something: We’re not cattle. You don’t need to grab us and send us careening into lineups and fucking wrestle us to the ground every two seconds, shit – fuck that fucking place. Oh yeah, and do you mind turning up the volume past 3? Are we jamming at your grandma’s house? No? Ok, then can we pump it up to maybe, 6? Warsaw is almost as bad as its namesake).
So yeah, that leaves about 17k for 5 people, which is 3.4k each. Gibby lives in Brooklyn now but if the others flew in from Austin or wherever, that means, after flight and hotel, they were looking at 2.2k each. To re-learn all those songs and travel that far is about another 60 hrs in labor so now we’re down to $37/hr. And that’s after 27 years gaining the reputation it takes to sell 900 tickets. What a shitty gig rock and roll is. It’s almost as bad as crime.
EXTRA BONUS POINTS FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
1- Natasha Lyonne and Lizzie Bougatsos were there.
2- A bunch of bikers showed up backstage and stole all their wine. The Buttholes had a sommalier who brought tons of shit including fancy plastic wine glasses but we couldn’t get a taste because it was all gone.
3- Gibby is pursuing comedy now and UCB loves him especially Amy Poehler.
4- I wouldn’t touch most Polish basketball players with a ten foot pole. Oh wait, they are ten foot Poles.
MORE POO AT BROOKLYN-VEG
Cargo! The Smalls!
$37 an hour. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.
I saw the Butthole Surfers in either 92 or 93 at Roseland Ballroom NYC (yes I’m over 40). Gibby started the show by shooting a shotgun right over the audience’s heads. Regardless of the fact that he was shooting blanks it was loud as shit and a total fucking rush. I’m told they do that a lot. Whatever — they were great!
Side note — the warm up band for them was a not yet famous Stone Temple Pilots. I;m not a fan and was much more into the Surfers. STP had attracted a large crowd of fans from Jersey who were basically there to fight. I almost got into it with one of them but thought better, and it’s a good thing because these guys probably would have destroyed me.
There were a lot of these guys and they were taunting the bouncers, looking for mayhem, and in general, being intimidating assholes. Right at the climax of the Buttholes set, as it looked like the crowd was going to explode into violence, the drum player doused his cymbals in lighter fluid and set them on fire. The entire crowd just calmed right down as we all became united in a moment of comradeship, enjoying the sight of burning drums. Fiiirrree… cool.
I guess what I am saying is “I like the Butthole Surfers”
yeah but if you’re in the Strokes you get to fuck those rich bitches in the subway. But yeah. If you’re throwing smaller shows you also can’t make any fucking money until the 19th person comes to your show. Then you start splitting half-half with the venue. f.y.i.
Kurt Cobain cited them as on of his favourite bands. Turns out Courtney Love wasn’t his only lapse of taste.
Black Dice, interesting choice as an opener for the Butthole Surfers.
I always thought the name referred to ReaganAmerika as crap and that they were just surfing along zen-like over the chunky soup that flowed out.
Will it ever be possible for the younger generation to seperate all of the Grunge era elements out in order to distinguish how far apart these guys were from Alice in Chains or the movie Singles.
$ 37 an hour but at least their fans actually bought the bands music back then.
who gives a shit about a band that hasn’t put out a good record since 1987?
it is not about the money at this point, but re-living some of the joy that is the music of butthole surfers.
as for crazy stories about them, my favorite is that they had two hardcore autistic conga players back in 83. and then there was this girl:
http://potionlords.blogspot.com/2007/09/dr-ponder-is-here.html
A butthole surfer is slang for a gay-wad. DOY
Oh onepen, you’re such a wit! Hey, if you’ve ever listened to Locust Abortion Technician and you still think that the Butthole Surfers lack, then you’re a bloodless little twit. If you haven’t listened to that record (or any of the first three,) you might not be a total fag. In short, start the downloads!